Honoring Birthdays

We just celebrated our daughter's FOURTH birthday last week!!!

I love the joy and celebration that surrounds a birthday.  But as an adoptive momma, I also can't help but think of our daughter's birth-mom on those days, too.  Our joy may very well still be her pain.  Her separation and heartache became our joy and reason to celebrate in early November each year.  

Schedules, timing, life going on...whatever the reason may be...it just hasn't worked out this year for us to meet up with our daughter's biological family.  I can feel guilty about this.  I've sent emails, expressing the invitation to get together with them, but as with all open adoption relationships, there's no set formula for staying connected.  No official plans have been made.  What was once a yearly get-together for our family with our daughter's biological family may be changing...or maybe not.  

But one thing that stays the same is her biological family's birthdays each year, too.  Our connection to Mya's biological family has been primarily with three people: her biological mom, her biological grandma, and her half-brother.  And they ALL have November birthdays, as well.  

It may seem small.  It may seem unnecessary.  But for us, we like to honor their birthdays each year by sending them a card.  And as our daughter's gotten older, she's enjoyed adding her special artist touches to their cards.  We're getting ready to mail these cards and drawings out soon --

On her own, our daughter wanted to include the words "You are so special" and "I love you" in her drawings for her biological mom.  I'm proud of her for choosing those words.  It kinda caught me off guard; it can feel sort of scary for her to say those words to me about her biological mom.  But I'm choosing to support our daughter's words.  In fact, I'm thankful that that's her perception of this woman in her life.  I'm thankful for the respect and love that she does have for her.  My prayer is that our daughter's birth-mom will receive these special gifts with love and appreciation and not hurt and pain.  

Being an adoptive mom (and hopefully soon-to-be foster mom), life continues to be a learning curve.  Navigating birthdays and holidays.  Explaining life and how our family was formed.  Completing school projects in the years ahead - family trees, family history.  But through God's grace, I desire for Him to work through me each step of the way.  

No life event is too big (or too small) for our God to handle.  

Need any COSTUME ideas?

I don't know about the area you live in, but around here, our Goodwill stores are still STOCKED with Halloween costumes (...or items you could piece together to come up with a great costume...).  And the best part is that their costumes are at a FRACTION of the price of what you'll pay in an actual Halloween store.  Just this week, I found a look-alike "ANNA" (from "Frozen") dress for our daughter at Goodwill for only $4.50.  She was thrilled!!!  Think outside the box - Goodwill, Salvation Army, garage sales, or even your own closet! 

With Halloween being a little less than a week away, here are a few EASY ideas for last-minute DIY costumes....

STARBUCKS Pumpkin Spice Latte



TY Beanie Babies



LIPTON Tea Bag



JELLY BELLY Jelly Beans



LEGOS



Washing Machine & Laundry Basket



UPS Delivery Man



PLAY-DOH



Rock, Paper, Scissors


*AND* 
Don't forget -- Often the day or so after Halloween, Goodwill's costumes get marked down (i.e. 50% off the Goodwill price or more) because they wanna clear their store to make room for Christmas items.  Last year, I found lots of great costumes for only a buck or two for our daughter's dress-up bin, her themed dress-up days for preschool (like "community helper" day), and so on.  Anything from a cowgirl to a doctor.  But -- Once they're gone, they're gone!

It's OFFICIAL...

We're now an APPROVED FOSTER FAMILY for Berks County Children & Youth Services.  

I was both surprised and excited to see two emails in my inbox today from our caseworkers, letting us know this news.  

So many of you have asked how this process is going for us and have let us know you're praying for us, and we thank you!  The Lord continues to fill us with a "peace that passes all understanding," and for that, we are grateful and excited to open our home and our hearts in this way.

Almost daily, our daughter Mya lets me know of her excitement, too.  Just today while driving in the car, she said, "Mommy, I have so much love for our baby.  So much love for our baby and for you and for Daddy."  The Lord is so closely walking alongside her little heart, as well.  

 And on one other random side note, we were just blessed with a free infant car seat.  A sweet friend (...shout out to Katie D!...) shared on Facebook several weeks ago about a grant that a local police officer received which allowed him to giveaway brand new car seats.  I took a chance yesterday and called the police department, and they had an INFANT car seat still available.  It's already been safely installed into our car by the police officer, so we're officially ready-to-go!  (And it sounds like he'll be getting more car seats in a variety of sizes soon through an additional grant, so contact me for more details if you or someone you know may benefit from this wonderful blessing.)

So for now, we just wait.  Expectantly.  :)

Something NEW is on the Horizon for Our Family!

The events of our summer months have evolved into a change for our family.  I've tossed around how to go about sharing this news, but this seems to be the best way I can think of doing it --

We are happy to announce that we are officially becoming a foster care family!

The decision hasn't come quickly.  We've given it countless hours of thought.  We've talked it over with our families and dear friends.  We've educated ourselves about what this will mean for our family.  And we're super excited!

When this idea was first presented to us by an extended family member, we hesitated.  And wanted to take things slowly.  The change seemed scary.  And to be honest, it still does, at times.  But as we made the decision to move forward and began the process of becoming an approved foster care family, the necessary steps have unraveled as needed and at just the right time.  We were able to complete a stack of paperwork quickly...including having our clearances returned to us promptly.  We were able to attend all four required trainings in four consecutive weeks (we had nothing else on our calendar the evenings of each training which was a semi-miracle in-and-of itself).  Our home's well water tests all came back good.  And our caseworker visited our home.  Our official home study should be completed and approved within the next week.  We have just the right amount of non-perishable foods and a bottled water supply to last us for 3-days in the event of a natural disaster.  I now have a "no smoking" sign on my refrigerator and an emergency evacuation plan in place.

And this has all happened literally within just the last six weeks.

It feels like a bit of a whirlwind.  And yet, it feels right. We continue to take steps...in faith...and the Lord continues to open doors.  Our trust is resting in the Lord right now.  This feels so similar to our adoption journey for our daughter a couple of years ago...but it also feels quite different.  I'm reminding myself that different isn't always a bad thing.  And in this case, different is going to be a very good thing for us.

Being a foster care family is going to be challenging.  It's going to require faith, patience, wisdom, grace, and trust.  It may require tough decisions and raw emotions.  And I imagine that it will involve tears...possibly lots of tears...but I know that the Lord is with us each step of the way.  And for as long as the Lord continues to open doors for us, we will continue to take steps in faith.

There will be times that I won't be able to share details about the foster care journey on here out of respect for the situation and because of confidentiality.  But we cherish your thoughts and prayers as we step out in faith to see how the Lord will use us.  Thank you, in advance, for walking alongside our family through this new venture.

MORE Back-to-School Printables!

The I Can Teach My Child website has two more great back-to-school printables available, and they're both FREE!  Just download each printable and print them out at home.

[1] "First Day of School" Signs 
(*Available in Preschool & Pre-K through Grade 8*)



[2] "Back-to-School" Prayer Cards for Our Kids

Morning Routine Cards

Dare I mention the word S-C-H-O-O-L?

With it being just a few weeks away, I wanted to share this FREE PRINTABLE with you - Morning Routine Cards - as you prepare for your family's start to the new school year. Thanks, I Can Teach My Child, for sharing these!  They're available for print in RED, PINK, BLUE, or GREEN.

Adoption & Choosing a Name

Anxiously, we entered the restaurant.  Stepping to the side of the lobby area, out of the way, I knew we needed to wait to sit down until our guests arrived, too.  I would recognize two of the guests, but the third guest would be a stranger to me.  I had no idea what she looked like or how she would dress.

Moments later, the door to the restaurant opened again.  Our guests had arrived.  We greeted one another and moved across the dining area to a large booth.  Our guests sat on one side of the booth, and I scooted into the other side of the bench, along with my husband.

It was a bit of a "getting to know you" event.  It was a bit scary.  It was a bit awkward.  I was pretty nervous.  Sitting in a booth, across from our (then soon-to-be) child's birthmom, we began getting to know this stranger.  This woman that would quickly become a very important part of our lives.  Forever.

While eating lunch and carrying on the small talk, she then revealed to us that she had given birth to a little girl.  She told us that her name was "Mya."  My heart skipped a beat.  I kicked my husband under the table.  I swallowed hard.  I asked her to repeat the baby's name.  I was in denial.

************

As we anticipated adopting a child, we were deeply thankful to our adoption agency for the many trainings that they both offered and required.  We learned so much through these opportunities about ourselves, about the misconceptions of adoptions, birthparents, and the adoption process, and so much more.

Our hearts grew in this time of waiting.  Our hearts were being prepared to welcome a child...our child...in God's perfect timing.

It was a long wait.

Nearly two years, to be exact.  And that's just the amount of time we spent anticipating a child while on the adoption agency's waiting list.  That doesn't include the years before that that included infertility, tests, a surgery, and seeking the direction that God wanted for our life by attending informational meetings at various adoption and foster care agencies, before selecting the agency that felt right for us and our family.

And like all soon-to-be parents...my husband and I would very occasionally talk baby names.  I can remember one instance, though, when he and I were sitting in an airport, waiting to board a plane long before our scheduled departure and jotting down names of boys and girls that we both like and both agreed on.

Boys' names were hard for us.  None really stood out to us.  But there were two girls' names that we agreed on pretty quickly - Brooklyn and Mya.  Yes, you read that correctly - Mya.  (At the time, we thought we'd spell it like Maya Angelou.)

Through the counseling and training we received at Bethany, we knew that ultimately, we could name our adopted child whatever we wanted once the adoption was finalized at the courthouse; we also learned the importance of keeping part or all of the child's birth name to honor their birthparents and to honor their heritage.  My husband and I always agreed that we'd at least keep a portion of our adopted child's name...possibly moving an original first name to a middle name.

We never actually had to deeply think through that one.  To have picked the exact same name as our daughter's birthmom picked was simply crazy.

*************

When our daughter's birthmom said that the baby's name was Mya, it felt like an affirmation from the Lord that this was the child that God had been preparing our hearts and lives for for so many years.  We shared the beauty of the "same name" story with Mya's birthmom immediately, as we sat with her and the two adoption caseworkers at the restaurant.  I could see in her eyes that day that it meant the world to her.  We also agreed to keep Mya's middle name the same, to pay honor to Mya's birthmom's grandmother.

I don't share this story today to make it seem like our adoption story is any more special than other adoption stories.  Each and every adoption story is beautiful in its own way.  I love hearing so many different adoption stories.

I share this story rather as a reminder that our God is a God of details.  He cares about the nitty-gritty details of our lives.  He knew that in that very moment that that same first name would bring affirmation and commitment and unity to two separate families' lives.  He cared enough for Mya's birthmom, during an emotionally and physically draining time in her life, to give her that peace and reassurance about us keeping the very name she chose.  God knew that that would build respect between us.

God revealed His creativity to us that day in the restaurant.  I would have never imagined, while waiting to adopt, that this would have ever happened in a million years.  I love that God is full of surprises, too...just when we need them.  Just when we least expect them.  God is good - so good.  Keep an eye out for Him in the details of your life.  Maybe even in the details of TODAY.