Positive Adoption Language

Adoption is very near and dear to our hearts.  It has blessed our family in amazing ways.  Like anything new, adoption has been a journey for us and our family and friends.  Until adoption touches your life, it's something that you may not know a lot about.  You may fear saying the wrong things.  Or worry about what questions to ask...or what to say or not to say.

Through the adoption agency we worked with, Bethany Christian Services, we were able to take advantage of some awesome resources and trainings on adoption-related topics.  In turn, we were then able to pass that same information onto our families and friends, so it has become a journey for more than just the two of us.  It has meant so much to us to see those close to us desiring to know more about adoption.

As I mentioned earlier, you may fear saying the wrong things when talking to someone who was adopted or is considering adoption.  In this post, I thought I could share with you some of the positive adoption language we've learned along the way.

POSITIVE LANGUAGE                       NEGATIVE LANGUAGE
Birthparent                                           Real parent
Biological parent                                   Natural parent
Birth child                                            Own child
My child                                              Adopted child, own child
Born to unmarried parents                     Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights                       Give up
Make an adoption plan                          Give away
To parent                                            To keep
Waiting child                                       Adoptable child, available child
Biological or birthfather/mother              Real father/mother
Parent                                                 Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption                           Foreign adoption
Search                                                Track down parents
Child placed for adoption                      An unwanted child
Court termination                                 Child taken away
Child with special needs                        Handicapped child
Child from abroad                                Foreign child
Was adopted                                       Is adopted

Source:  www.adoptivefamilies.com

On a different note, you do not need to fear talking about adoption with me or Brandon.  We're still learning, too, and are not judging you if you say something incorrectly.  It has taken intentional practice on our parts to get used to the more positive ways of saying certain adoption phrases, and we still catch ourselves saying things incorrectly.  Please don't hesitate to ask us questions, too.

It's a wonderful thing when we can connect with others and better understand the different journeys that we've all been on...and continue learning life together!