"I was in your heart, Mommy."

Driving in the car, we approached the traffic light at the entrance to Sight & Sound Theatre.  As we waited for the red light to turn green, I heard from the backseat ...

"Mom, what's that place?  What's way up there?" ... As my three-year old pointed to the theatre's entrance and long driveway which leads to its gorgeous establishment.

"It's a really cool place to see shows, Mya.  Daddy and I will take you there sometime.  Okay?"

She agreed and liked the idea.  Then our conversation continued.  And our daughter's words surprised me.

"I was there before, Mommy."  (I paused, pondering her words.)

"No, I don't think so, honey.  Daddy and I were there before.  But that's before you were born or in our family."  

And without hesitation, she replied, "I was there, Mommy.  I remember.  I was in your heart."  

WAIT?  WHAT?  HUH?

She literally left me speechless.  How could I disagree with her?  Her response was so pure, and she genuinely believed what she said.  I couldn't argue with her, but I literally had no words to say in response except, "Yes, honey.  Yes, you were in my heart."  

As many of you know, our daughter joined our family through adoption.  And we anticipated the day that her understanding of life and the world around her would require her to ask more and more questions.  Specifically questions related to her adoption story.  We've talked to her about her adoption story since the day we brought her home, thanks to the wonderful counseling we received through our caseworkers and training sessions at Bethany Christian Services.  And although she wouldn't remember our dialogues with her from that early of an age, it's made it a pattern for her Daddy and me to learn what to say and how to say it.

Mya knows she has a birth-mommy.  She knows she has a birth-daddy, too.  She knows their first names.  She also knows the names of her half-brother and biological grandmother.  She can identify them in pictures, and when we reconnect in-person with them each year, she warms up to them and remembers them shortly after our visit begins.  We've told her the town and the name of the hospital she was born in.  We reminisce with her about what it was like for us when she was a baby and when we brought her home.  We love sharing her adoption story with her, and as she gets older, we can tell she likes hearing the stories, too.

Mya's adoption story is such a special part of her...and yet I have no way of knowing how these details will all play-out in her life as she grows older and makes sense of it all on her own way.  I love that she leaves me speechless.  I love that her questions and comments give me no prep time.  This enables true, genuine responses from me...to her.  I want her to know my heart.  To feel my desire.  To truly sense my sincerity in conveying my love for her and her own unique adoption story.  I love that each person or family touched by adoption has their very own unique story to share, too!

And yet - with all of this occasional dialogue that we have with our daughter related to her open adoption, moments like this story that I've just shared with you continue to leave this adoptive momma SPEECHLESS.

And I'm okay with that.  :)