Chocolate Milk & Vanilla Ice Cream

As Mya was getting ready for bed last night, she was extra talkative.  Telling made-up stories, jibber-jabbering, and just being silly.  And as I was there with her, this brief conversation went down....

Me - "Mya, I just love the color of your skin.  It reminds me of chocolate milk."  
She pauses, looks at her skin, and smiles.  Within seconds, she replies.
Mya - "Mom, I love your skin.  It reminds me of vanilla ice cream."  

Yep, you're exactly right, honey.  And in that moment, my heart was filled with such joy and happiness.

We do have different skin.  We do look different on the outside.  And I love it.  I love that she can see the differences of our skin colors.  The difference is beautiful to me.  And I'm thankful for our differences.

When I anticipated being an adoptive mom...and then finding out that I would be an adoptive mom to our biracial daughter, I didn't know quite what to expect.  What it would be like to parent a child of another color.  It's been a learning process for sure...but so worth it and filled with rich blessings for us and our families.  I wouldn't change it for anything.

There's something so cool...so rewarding...when we, as humans, can embrace our differences and love one another just the way we are.

Lunchbox Encouragement

With the start of another new school year right around the corner, here are LUNCHBOX ENCOURAGEMENT CARDS (<-- click here) for you to download, print out, and tuck them into your child's lunchbox the first day or week of school...and beyond.  There's nothing like a simple note of encouragement to brighten someone's day.

Thanks to Heavenly Homemakers' blog for this fun resource.

Movie Theaters, Fairs, Playgrounds, and So Much More!

Looking for some end-of-summer activities to do with your family in the Lancaster, PA area...for little or no cost at all?  Here you go!  And please feel free to share even more ideas in the "comments" section below.  :)

{1} Kendig Square Movie Theater
All movies are only $2.50 per person BEFORE 6:00 PM.  (See website for movie times and other pricing info.)

{2} Lancaster Creative Reuse
All summer long, they're offering "free craft table" Fridays.  Every Friday - 10:00 AM til 2:00 PM.  Let your imagination run wild as you create whatever you want with supplies from their craft room.

{3} Elizabethtown Fair
August 19-24, 2013.  10:00 AM - 11:00 PM (except August 19th is 5:00 PM - 11:00 PM).  Full schedule of events available on their website.

{4} Cherry Hill Orchard
Pick-Your-Own fruits in their orchard.  Peaches and apples and nectarines are soon ready.  Check their "ripening schedule" or call before you go to see what fruits are ready for picking.  (Just a note: If my memory serves me correctly, they may only accept cash or checks for their pick-your-own fruits out in the orchard.)

{5} Go Park Hopping!
Start at a favorite local, community park in the morning.  Travel to another one for a picnic lunch.  Meet up with some friends at yet another park in the afternoon.  Create a scavenger hunt for your adventures or pack a cooler full of water balloons.  Maybe even invite some "surprise" friends or family to meet you at the park and surprise your kids.  "Daniel's Den Playground" at Manor Church is especially neat because they have a "water mister" to keep kids cool on warm summer days, AND they basically have two parks in one (half of it is for older kids, half of it is for younger kids, AND it's all handicap-accessible.)

{6} Lancaster Central Market
Such a cool place to explore your five senses.  Open Tuesday & Friday 6:00 AM til 4:00 PM and Saturday 6:00 AM til 2:00 PM.

{7} Visit Other Farmers' Markets
Green Dragon - Ephrata, PA (Fridays only)
Root's Market - Manheim, PA (Tuesdays only)
Bird-in-Hand Farmer's Market - Bird-in-Hand, PA (Wednesday thru Saturday this time of year)
Lancaster's Eastern Market (Saturdays only)

{8} Lapp Valley Farm
Fun farm setting with lots of animals.  Delicious homemade ice cream.

{9} Visit Strasburg on a Saturday
Strasburg Farmer's Market
Strasburg-Heisler Library
Sweet Charity Shop
Strasburg Creamery and Other Cool Shops
Strasburg Railroad

{10} Hayloft Candles
Free petting zoo.  Monday thru Saturday 9:00 AM til 5:00 PM (this time of year).  

{11} Local Library Events
Many local libraries have free events for kids of all ages.  Check out their calendar of events online and register for events online, too.  Events and programs are available year-round.

{12} Visit Long's Park
They have several nice playgrounds, lots of picnic areas, a large pond, tennis courts, a petting zoo, and a free summer music series.  The summer concerts are every Sunday night at 7:30 PM all summer long.  Click here for more info on the music series.

{13} Construct this COOL "Outdoor Easel"
I love this idea and just had to share it with you.


Please share MORE IDEAS if you have them.  As a mom, I know I'm always looking for fun things to do with my daughter...and I imagine you might be, too.  :)

End-of-Summer Blues

Every August, the end-of-summer blues set in for me.  I can remember even as a child dreading the reality that school was going to start back up again in just a few weeks...once August 1st rolled around on the calendar.  I loved school (and have amazing memories of it) but missed the freedom of summer and feared that my new teacher, specifically in elementary school years, wouldn't like me and dreaded the reality of homework starting back up again.  I thought those end-of-summer blues would fade away after graduation.  But then I decided to get a teaching degree and also marry a teacher...so even though I wasn't going to be the student anymore, I would still experience those anxious weeks leading up to the start of a new school year.

I get butterflies in my stomach as I think about sending my hubby off to his first day of school and spending days explaining to Mya why he won't be at home when she wakes up in the morning.

I'm sad that our HOT summer days are beginning to transition into COOLER, more Fall-like ones.

I notice that the evening's daylight is getting shorter and shorter.

And reality sets in.  School is just around the corner.

But this year, I'm trying to intentionally choose to not dread the weeks leading up to school...but rather, I'm embracing all the excitement that these coming weeks can (and WILL) hold.  I still find my mind thinking about it, but at least I'm able to quickly reshift my focus.

So here's what I AM looking forward to about the next couple of weeks...

*Peach-picking season is almost here!  Cherry Hill Orchard here we come.  :)
*Apple season and making applesauce is just around the corner.
*Fair season is also right around the corner.  More and more, I just LOVE our local fairs and all that they offer to our little ones (and I appreciate the fairs so much more now that I am an adult.)
*"Connections" is starting back up again soon.
*We love cooking out and entertaining and look forward to more get-togethers with family & friends.
*A new dance year will soon be here!
*Local, roadside farm stands are PACKED with fresh foods...and our little garden continues to bless us, too.
*Our annual church picnic is coming soon.  I just love this event.
*Plans are in the making to reunite with Mya's birth-family again...but this time here close to home...and my parents will get visit with them as well.

I do realize, too, that some of you are reading this and absolutely cannot wait to send your kids BACK to school.  I don't judge you.  Really I don't.  But may you enjoy and cherish these last few weeks of summer break with the children in your life, too.  In my next post, I'll share with you some end-of-summer activities, ideas, and events.

Precious Words

Thinking back to our recent visit with Mya's biological family, it's hard to articulate in words the emotions and deep gratitude we have for this opportunity to share Mya's life with them and their lives with Mya and our families.  I could have never imagined an "open adoption" feeling so right.  But it does.  

We don't know still how our open adoption will unfold.  How it will develop.  We don't know if we'll always stay connected.  Or if we'll one day lose touch.  But we do know that we want Mya's best interest to remain at the fore-front of our decision-making process.  

And up to this point, an open adoption is the right choice for our family.

The way we've connected with her maternal biological family is a gift.  In some ways I feel like it's more of a gift to me and Brandon than it is to Mya.  I could never have imagined having so much respect and love for a perfect stranger...the mother of our daughter.  But I do.  I could have never imagined being brave enough to step out in faith and meet up with Mya's biological family each year.  But God's filled me the strength and boldness and love to do this.  I could have never imagined sharing so many connections with a family that I never knew (and am still getting to know) before November 2010.  But its an invaluable gift.  

Sometimes I wonder how I could be so blessed to have an adoptive daughter.  Why God chose me for this responsibility.  If you would have asked me ten-years ago if I would adopt, I'm guessing I would have declined the possibility.  Not out of opposition but out of a naive-ness to the beauty of it and how it could so richly bless my life.  

And just when I've felt like God couldn't bless us more through our adoption journey, He does.  He allows us the opportunity...a totally unexpected opportunity...to meet Mya's birthfather for the very first time.  (See my previous post to read more.  Click here to read that post.)

You might wonder what a biological father would say to their child's adoptive father.  It's a situation that we could have never planned for.  In fact, I think the "unexpected" aspect to his visit with us on Saturday was a blessing in disguise.  You see, if I would have know...ahead of time...that he was coming, the human side of me would have been worried.  I would have played out the events of the pending visit over and over in my head.  It might have even made me anxious and sick-to-my-stomach with wonder and anticipation.  

But because Mya's biological father "just showed up"...we rolled with the punches.  We greeted him.  We introduced ourselves.  We smiled and even laughed with him.  And Brandon embraced his offer to chat privately...while the rest of us attempted to eat.  

Their conversation went well.  His words so thoughtful.  His nervousness obvious.  His sincerity genuine.  His courage admirable.  And the one part of their conversation that I've clung to since Brandon shared it with me....

Mya's birthfather - "Mya was not an accident.  She's here for a reason.  You are her dad; Kristen is her mom.  There's no question about that.  And if Mya ever wants to know me, please let her know that she can contact me."  

Wow.  As I type this, I can become emotional again.  What a gift he's given to the daughter he doesn't even know.  And by his openness and vulnerability, Brandon was able to immediately share with him that we're okay with Mya knowing him now.  

We don't know if he'll choose to stay in touch.  We don't know if or when we'll talk with him again; we've given him the right to make that choice when he's ready.  But at least I know in my adoptive mom heart that he's okay with us raising his daughter.  That he's, in a way, given us his blessing.  

There's so much more to that ten-minute conversation that is precious to our family and close friends.  And as the story continues to unfold, we'll continue to share with wisdom, discernment, and respect to Mya and her story.  Thank you for joining us in this journey.

A Surprise Visitor...Another Piece to Our Adoption Journey

In my previous post, shared with you yesterday, I explained that we met up with Mya's birthfamily...her birthmom, biological half-brother, and biological grandma...at a restaurant this past weekend.  (To read that post, please click here.)

This was our third year meeting up with them.  And each time, Mya's birthmom has mentioned to us that she's invited Mya's BIRTHFATHER to attend our visit, as well.  Until this year, we had yet to even meet Mya's birthdad.  We have his picture in Mya's bedroom, and we've received a positive perspective on who he is from Mya's birthmom (...they are not dating but have stayed in touch throughout their journey...).  But until Saturday night, we had never met.  

Just like other visits in the past, Mya's birthmom had invited him to come.  She never heard back from him and, most likely, just wrote it off as another year that he'd decided to not join us.  

So, we were all a little SHOCKED and SURPRISED when he showed up at our booth to introduce himself to me and and Brandon (and Mya, too).

I had JUST taken Mya to the bathroom.  I knew she needed to go...but I also needed to take the opportunity to remind her of appropriate table manners while we separated from the rest of the group.  And just as we returned, I remember sitting back down at the booth, turning to Mya to help her sit down, and realizing that Brandon was talking over me to someone else.  I assumed it was our waitress or the manager.  It NEVER CROSSED MY MIND that Brandon would be talking to Mya's birthdad.  

It was a quick meeting for me.  I turned, introduced myself, and chatted with him very briefly (looking back, I'm pretty sure I was in shock and a bit of denial)...then turned to Mya to help walk her through greeting her birthdad FOR THE FIRST TIME.  (Like most little ones, she wasn't super eager say hello...her food held her attention a bit more.)  I then remember glancing across the table and realizing that Mya's maternal biological family was equally surprised by his visit...I could see it on their faces.  I glanced again overtop Mya to Brandon and remember watching them shake hands and greet one another.  It all happened so quickly.  Maybe two-, three-minutes max.  And yet it felt like a monumental moment in our daughter's life.  He didn't force Mya to give him a "high five."  He didn't request a hug or suggest that she greet him.  He acknowledged that he was a stranger.  And he was completely respectful of everyone.  His smile was contagious; his face was very joyful.  

Then Mya's birthdad made a request..."Brandon, could I talk to you for a minute."  

Without hesitation, Brandon agreed and traveled with Mya's birthdad to the lobby of the restaurant.  I remained with Mya at the booth...along with her birth-family.  So picture this, our food has now arrived.  None of us can think about eating.  We're all shocked and literally at a loss for words.  Brandon is not with me.  I ask Mya's birthmom if she knew he was coming...she confirmed that she had invited him but had no idea that he would show.  We were pretty much speechless.  

Mya's birthdad was on his way to work.  He had so much to tell Brandon (and us).  And he found a way to fit all of his thoughts and emotions into a ten-minute conversation with Brandon...in the lobby of Texas Roadhouse.  

You can imagine that those thoughts and emotions were pretty powerful.  You can imagine that I was dying to find out from Brandon WHAT HE SAID...but had to wait until AFTER we departed from the restaurant and Mya's maternal biological family.  And you can imagine that this now adds a whole other dynamic to what our "open adoption" journey means for Mya and our family.  In my next post, I'll share more about how Mya's birthfather's words have already impacted me and our family.

Our Yearly Reunion - Texas Roadhouse Style!

We were blessed to spend time with our family that lives in Ohio and Iowa last week.  We love visiting with them...seeing Mya play with her cousins, watching her play and giggle with her grandparents, encouraging her to make new friends at the local pool.  It makes the long drive to the Midwest SO worth it.  It's a gift for us to see her discovering new things, in a different part of the country.

And as we traveled home this past weekend, we also had the privilege of meeting up with Mya's birth-family.  Her birthmom.  Her half-brother.  Her biological grandma, too.  This is our third year visiting with them.  And each year so far, we've met them on our travels to-or-from Iowa, as we've passed through the State College area of Pennsylvania.

And each year, we invite them to choose where we'll meet.  This year: TEXAS ROADHOUSE.

It was awesome!

First off, we love eating there.  But rarely go.  Secondly, their Texas Roadhouse still did all kinds of fun line-dances throughout our meal (...now, maybe I don't go to our Texas Roadhouse often enough, but the recent times I've been there, I've witnessed no line-dancing.)  So, this provided some cool entertainment for the kids.  We witnessed at least two birthday celebrations (which, might I mention, involve the birthday person climbing onto a "saddled horse" as the community of diners wished them well with a friendly (and loud) "Yee-haw!")  We sang along to country songs.  We watched the kids interact.  We searched for conversation to have with each other.  We enjoyed a meal together.

Sometimes it was a little quiet in our booth.  A little awkward.  Sometimes Mya didn't want to sit or talk to the family that she barely knows.  Other times, conversations flowed freely.  Laughter filled our booth.  But it all felt so right.  The awkwardness and the joy blended together in such a way that made for another great visit with some of Mya's maternal biological family.  And eventually, Mya even made her way over to the other side of the booth where her biological family dined, and she joined them.  She ate their food.  She talked with them.  She gave hugs and shared a lollipop with her half-brother.

It's an experience that's hard to describe.  Like nothing I've ever experienced before in life.  And yet, so right.  So fulfilling.  So amazing.

And to add to this recent experience, we had a FIRST.  This was the FIRST time we met Mya's birthdad.  At Texas Roadhouse.  Invited but unexpected.  And so in my next post, I will share what it was like to meet him for the first time.