Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Adoption & Choosing a Name

Anxiously, we entered the restaurant.  Stepping to the side of the lobby area, out of the way, I knew we needed to wait to sit down until our guests arrived, too.  I would recognize two of the guests, but the third guest would be a stranger to me.  I had no idea what she looked like or how she would dress.

Moments later, the door to the restaurant opened again.  Our guests had arrived.  We greeted one another and moved across the dining area to a large booth.  Our guests sat on one side of the booth, and I scooted into the other side of the bench, along with my husband.

It was a bit of a "getting to know you" event.  It was a bit scary.  It was a bit awkward.  I was pretty nervous.  Sitting in a booth, across from our (then soon-to-be) child's birthmom, we began getting to know this stranger.  This woman that would quickly become a very important part of our lives.  Forever.

While eating lunch and carrying on the small talk, she then revealed to us that she had given birth to a little girl.  She told us that her name was "Mya."  My heart skipped a beat.  I kicked my husband under the table.  I swallowed hard.  I asked her to repeat the baby's name.  I was in denial.

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As we anticipated adopting a child, we were deeply thankful to our adoption agency for the many trainings that they both offered and required.  We learned so much through these opportunities about ourselves, about the misconceptions of adoptions, birthparents, and the adoption process, and so much more.

Our hearts grew in this time of waiting.  Our hearts were being prepared to welcome a child...our child...in God's perfect timing.

It was a long wait.

Nearly two years, to be exact.  And that's just the amount of time we spent anticipating a child while on the adoption agency's waiting list.  That doesn't include the years before that that included infertility, tests, a surgery, and seeking the direction that God wanted for our life by attending informational meetings at various adoption and foster care agencies, before selecting the agency that felt right for us and our family.

And like all soon-to-be parents...my husband and I would very occasionally talk baby names.  I can remember one instance, though, when he and I were sitting in an airport, waiting to board a plane long before our scheduled departure and jotting down names of boys and girls that we both like and both agreed on.

Boys' names were hard for us.  None really stood out to us.  But there were two girls' names that we agreed on pretty quickly - Brooklyn and Mya.  Yes, you read that correctly - Mya.  (At the time, we thought we'd spell it like Maya Angelou.)

Through the counseling and training we received at Bethany, we knew that ultimately, we could name our adopted child whatever we wanted once the adoption was finalized at the courthouse; we also learned the importance of keeping part or all of the child's birth name to honor their birthparents and to honor their heritage.  My husband and I always agreed that we'd at least keep a portion of our adopted child's name...possibly moving an original first name to a middle name.

We never actually had to deeply think through that one.  To have picked the exact same name as our daughter's birthmom picked was simply crazy.

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When our daughter's birthmom said that the baby's name was Mya, it felt like an affirmation from the Lord that this was the child that God had been preparing our hearts and lives for for so many years.  We shared the beauty of the "same name" story with Mya's birthmom immediately, as we sat with her and the two adoption caseworkers at the restaurant.  I could see in her eyes that day that it meant the world to her.  We also agreed to keep Mya's middle name the same, to pay honor to Mya's birthmom's grandmother.

I don't share this story today to make it seem like our adoption story is any more special than other adoption stories.  Each and every adoption story is beautiful in its own way.  I love hearing so many different adoption stories.

I share this story rather as a reminder that our God is a God of details.  He cares about the nitty-gritty details of our lives.  He knew that in that very moment that that same first name would bring affirmation and commitment and unity to two separate families' lives.  He cared enough for Mya's birthmom, during an emotionally and physically draining time in her life, to give her that peace and reassurance about us keeping the very name she chose.  God knew that that would build respect between us.

God revealed His creativity to us that day in the restaurant.  I would have never imagined, while waiting to adopt, that this would have ever happened in a million years.  I love that God is full of surprises, too...just when we need them.  Just when we least expect them.  God is good - so good.  Keep an eye out for Him in the details of your life.  Maybe even in the details of TODAY.