Why is it that we're so critical of ourselves...of our self-image? We don't like certain things about how we look. We always notice "those things" when we look in the mirror. When we try on clothes. When we're around others.
Comparing.
Why can't we just be content with who we are and how we're made?
I've often thought about this because I, too, am critical of myself. I always have been. I don't like it. I don't like it about myself. It's not fair to treat myself this way. It feels so self-centered at times. It can even border on the line of perfectionism.
I was reminded of it the other night when I attempted to purchase a new pair of pants at Target. I spent nearly thirty-minutes trying on close to a dozen different pairs. I tried them on...retried them on...narrowed it down to a few...and FINALLY walked away with pants that fit. While in the fitting room...staring at myself under those fantastic florescent lights...I couldn't help but feel critical. Ugh.
I administered self-talk, reminding myself to not look at the number on the pants...the size...but to look for what fits best. For what makes me feel good in...or at least okay in. I reminded myself that I was made in the image of God. For a purpose. For a reason. I am this way...with purpose! I am supposed to be this...exactly how God formed me.
And, let's be honest. There is so much truth in the statement: It's not what's on the OUTSIDE that counts but what's on the INSIDE. We've all heard that. We know that.
But do we truly KNOW that?
Do we believe that?
It's all about our heart. The inside...not the outside. How we love and care for others. How we relate to others and show compassion and empathy. How we reach out. How we give. How we forgive. The list could go on and on.
In these moments of doubting my self-image, I can rest in knowing that I am NOT perfect...I never will be...and that's TOTALLY fine. I don't need to look a certain way to love others. I don't need to look a certain way to show compassion...to reach out and help those in need. It just doesn't matter. And, that feels really reassuring. Let's rest in knowing (and believing!) that we're all created in the image of God. With a purpose!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Forever Connected
Several years ago when we began our journey towards adoption, we also began a journey of better understanding what adoption means and looks like for families. Each step of the way, a common theme kept resurfacing:
No two stories...journeys toward adoption...are alike.
We'd meet families and talk to friends (all of whom were already connected to adoption) and walk away from the conversations feeling both excited for what our story would like and feeling scared and uncertain of many things. What would our story look like? When would our adoption happen? Would we ever get picked? What will the birthparents like about us? Will they think we're weird? Is this what we're really called to do? Do we know what we're getting ourselves into?...Are we even ready to become parents yet?
We had no real idea of what our journey would be...what it would look like. In fact, we sort of thought we'd have a "closed adoption." (This means that there's no contact with biological family members.) That just seemed to make the most sense. Seemed to be the easiest. Early on in our journey.
But through lots of learning (and many, many prayers) and a better understanding of things from the perspectives of birth families, adoptive families, and children who were adopted...we realized that our hearts were changing. Our hearts' desire was slowly becoming that of a couple who longed to have a relationship with our future child's biological family. An "open adoption" felt so right. It became our prayer.
******
In our story, we had the privilege of meeting Mya's birthmom. She wanted to meet us. She wanted to select the couple that would parent her daughter. She had narrowed it down to us and another couple. She wanted to talk with us and make sure that we could accurately know her heart and convey those feelings to Mya as she's growing up.
The word "amazing" doesn't even begin to describe what it was like meeting Mya's birthmom.
It's fun being on this side of the adoption (with it being finalized and all) and reflecting back to that time. Lots of anxiety and nervousness. Having "butterflies in my stomach" doesn't even begin to express what was going on internally...the morning we met her. She was nervous, too. We could tell.
But it was a beautiful meeting. At a Friendly's Restaurant. In a booth right in the middle of the dining room. The restaurant was very full...lunchtime...but everything else around us was a blur. Our focus was on Mya's birthmom...on getting to know her...on remembering the small details of that meeting.
And, we had no idea that in that same day we'd meet Mya's birthmom, she would also ask us if we wanted to meet Mya. She knew from meeting with us that she wanted to pick us...she wanted us to parent Mya. We'd have the honor of holding our soon-to-be daughter for the very first time. She was just two weeks old...and such an itty-bitty cutie.
******
In this moment, our hearts were forever connected. Our lives were forever interchanged. And it felt so right. I never imagined my heart being so filled with love for our new baby. Our baby that didn't grow in my belly...but in both of our hearts [Brandon's and mine]...for many years. I never imagined having a feeling of respect...so deep that it's even hard to describe...for Mya's birthmom. I never imagined forever being intertwined with this perfect stranger [Mya's birthmom] and her family...and yet feeling like we were never strangers at all. Always connected in a way. And forever connected in the days to come.
I'm thankful for these memories that are engraved in my mind. Mya's birthmom is amazing. I love telling Mya about her adoption story. Not in full detail yet because of her age. But in a way that can empower her to know she was adopted and know she is deeply loved.
Our story is not perfect. Life on earth can be so uncertain...so scary. The future holds many unknowns. What questions will Mya ask as she gets older? Will Mya even want to stay connected to her biological family? How will we handle this? And how will she perceive all of this as she grows older? Will she be proud that she was adopted or embarrassed? Will it bother Mya that she doesn't look like me? Fear can easily fill us. Questions can run rampant through our minds. Control us if we allow them to. But one thing IS certain. God is in control. He has filled us with a peace, and we continue to trust that He will lead and guide us. We trust that He will give us the wisdom we need and work through us to answer her tough questions in the right way and at the right time.
I am deeply thankful that adoption has become a part of our journey. Our family. I'm thankful to still be connected with Mya's birthmom today. And I look forward to staying connected with her...continuing to share this journey with her. Continuing to watch Mya touch both of our lives and hearts. To God be the glory.
No two stories...journeys toward adoption...are alike.
We'd meet families and talk to friends (all of whom were already connected to adoption) and walk away from the conversations feeling both excited for what our story would like and feeling scared and uncertain of many things. What would our story look like? When would our adoption happen? Would we ever get picked? What will the birthparents like about us? Will they think we're weird? Is this what we're really called to do? Do we know what we're getting ourselves into?...Are we even ready to become parents yet?
We had no real idea of what our journey would be...what it would look like. In fact, we sort of thought we'd have a "closed adoption." (This means that there's no contact with biological family members.) That just seemed to make the most sense. Seemed to be the easiest. Early on in our journey.
But through lots of learning (and many, many prayers) and a better understanding of things from the perspectives of birth families, adoptive families, and children who were adopted...we realized that our hearts were changing. Our hearts' desire was slowly becoming that of a couple who longed to have a relationship with our future child's biological family. An "open adoption" felt so right. It became our prayer.
******
In our story, we had the privilege of meeting Mya's birthmom. She wanted to meet us. She wanted to select the couple that would parent her daughter. She had narrowed it down to us and another couple. She wanted to talk with us and make sure that we could accurately know her heart and convey those feelings to Mya as she's growing up.
The word "amazing" doesn't even begin to describe what it was like meeting Mya's birthmom.
It's fun being on this side of the adoption (with it being finalized and all) and reflecting back to that time. Lots of anxiety and nervousness. Having "butterflies in my stomach" doesn't even begin to express what was going on internally...the morning we met her. She was nervous, too. We could tell.
But it was a beautiful meeting. At a Friendly's Restaurant. In a booth right in the middle of the dining room. The restaurant was very full...lunchtime...but everything else around us was a blur. Our focus was on Mya's birthmom...on getting to know her...on remembering the small details of that meeting.
And, we had no idea that in that same day we'd meet Mya's birthmom, she would also ask us if we wanted to meet Mya. She knew from meeting with us that she wanted to pick us...she wanted us to parent Mya. We'd have the honor of holding our soon-to-be daughter for the very first time. She was just two weeks old...and such an itty-bitty cutie.
******
In this moment, our hearts were forever connected. Our lives were forever interchanged. And it felt so right. I never imagined my heart being so filled with love for our new baby. Our baby that didn't grow in my belly...but in both of our hearts [Brandon's and mine]...for many years. I never imagined having a feeling of respect...so deep that it's even hard to describe...for Mya's birthmom. I never imagined forever being intertwined with this perfect stranger [Mya's birthmom] and her family...and yet feeling like we were never strangers at all. Always connected in a way. And forever connected in the days to come.
I'm thankful for these memories that are engraved in my mind. Mya's birthmom is amazing. I love telling Mya about her adoption story. Not in full detail yet because of her age. But in a way that can empower her to know she was adopted and know she is deeply loved.
Our story is not perfect. Life on earth can be so uncertain...so scary. The future holds many unknowns. What questions will Mya ask as she gets older? Will Mya even want to stay connected to her biological family? How will we handle this? And how will she perceive all of this as she grows older? Will she be proud that she was adopted or embarrassed? Will it bother Mya that she doesn't look like me? Fear can easily fill us. Questions can run rampant through our minds. Control us if we allow them to. But one thing IS certain. God is in control. He has filled us with a peace, and we continue to trust that He will lead and guide us. We trust that He will give us the wisdom we need and work through us to answer her tough questions in the right way and at the right time.
I am deeply thankful that adoption has become a part of our journey. Our family. I'm thankful to still be connected with Mya's birthmom today. And I look forward to staying connected with her...continuing to share this journey with her. Continuing to watch Mya touch both of our lives and hearts. To God be the glory.
Monday, February 25, 2013
INDOOR Fun for Kids!!!
Looking for some fun, inexpensive ways to have fun INSIDE with the little ones in your life? Here are few that I found and wanted to share with you.
[1] Sticky Spider Web
http://handsonaswegrow.com/halloween-activity-a-sticky-spider-web/
[2] Ten Cute, Inexpensive Ideas
http://www.learning-through-play.com/archives/135
[3] Balloon Rockets
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2012/08/balloon-rockets/
[4] Milk Masterpieces
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2012/03/milk-food-coloring-dish-soap-masterpiece/
[5] Toothpicks + Marshmallows
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2011/10/toothpick-architecture/
We're in the home-stretch of this cold, winter weather. Just think, only a few more weeks until Spring arrives! Woohoo!!
[1] Sticky Spider Web
http://handsonaswegrow.com/halloween-activity-a-sticky-spider-web/
[2] Ten Cute, Inexpensive Ideas
http://www.learning-through-play.com/archives/135
[3] Balloon Rockets
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2012/08/balloon-rockets/
[4] Milk Masterpieces
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2012/03/milk-food-coloring-dish-soap-masterpiece/
[5] Toothpicks + Marshmallows
http://discoverexplorelearn.com/2011/10/toothpick-architecture/
We're in the home-stretch of this cold, winter weather. Just think, only a few more weeks until Spring arrives! Woohoo!!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Feeling thankful today.
For some reason, I woke up feeling extra thankful today. I'm not sure why exactly, but I'll take it. Today's been pretty normal, pretty typical of any other day...any other Thursday to be exact. But, it's the small things that can touch our hearts and change our outlook on the day, isn't it?!
Some of my reasons for feeling so thankful today include...
*Yummy blueberry waffles for breakfast. (No, not homemade...just the Target brand...but I love them!)
*Getting to the gym with time to spare.
*Spontaneously running into a dear friend...unexpectedly...at the gym. Her smile and sense of humor brightened my day...and touched Mya's heart, too.
*Having a "hair" conversation with a Goodwill employee...a friend...who has been a blessing and one that I can ask the random "Mya hair questions" to at any time. Today, she helped me know better what brush to use while Mya's hair is wet. Thank you, Ivory, for loving Mya and being a sweet person. She even snuck a special candy cane treat into my hand (for Mya) while Mya wasn't looking.
*Watching Mya devour her mac 'n cheese lunch with such joy. She loves her pasta...and I love watching her little cheeks as they get messy with orange cheese.
*The anticipation of dance classes tonight and knowing how lucky I am to teach dance and share my love of dance with very sweet dancers and their families. Hardly a week goes by where Brandon and I don't talk about how cool it is to be connected to so many neat families through dance.
*The anticipation of spontaneous dinner plans later tonight with dear friends...at a restaurant we've been wanting to try but haven't been to yet.
*Mya's afternoon naps. They not only recharge her...but me too.
*The beautiful sunshine in the midst of a super chilly day.
Since reading the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp almost one year ago, my eyes have been opened to the many blessings...both big and small...that fill our days when our eyes are opened, and we become more aware of them...more intentional about looking (or even searching) for them.
This blog post was extra fun for me. Thinking through my day...remembering those little things that made me happy or caused me to smile. My challenge to you is to stop what you're doing, and take one minute...yes, just one minute...to write down on a piece of paper all of the things you can think of...all of the reasons...for you to be thankful today. And, then take another minute...to share them. With me...on this blog or on my Facebook post. Or with a loved one, a co-worker, or a friend. May you be filled with a sense of thankfulness today, too.
Some of my reasons for feeling so thankful today include...
*Yummy blueberry waffles for breakfast. (No, not homemade...just the Target brand...but I love them!)
*Getting to the gym with time to spare.
*Spontaneously running into a dear friend...unexpectedly...at the gym. Her smile and sense of humor brightened my day...and touched Mya's heart, too.
*Having a "hair" conversation with a Goodwill employee...a friend...who has been a blessing and one that I can ask the random "Mya hair questions" to at any time. Today, she helped me know better what brush to use while Mya's hair is wet. Thank you, Ivory, for loving Mya and being a sweet person. She even snuck a special candy cane treat into my hand (for Mya) while Mya wasn't looking.
*Watching Mya devour her mac 'n cheese lunch with such joy. She loves her pasta...and I love watching her little cheeks as they get messy with orange cheese.
*The anticipation of dance classes tonight and knowing how lucky I am to teach dance and share my love of dance with very sweet dancers and their families. Hardly a week goes by where Brandon and I don't talk about how cool it is to be connected to so many neat families through dance.
*The anticipation of spontaneous dinner plans later tonight with dear friends...at a restaurant we've been wanting to try but haven't been to yet.
*Mya's afternoon naps. They not only recharge her...but me too.
*The beautiful sunshine in the midst of a super chilly day.
Since reading the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp almost one year ago, my eyes have been opened to the many blessings...both big and small...that fill our days when our eyes are opened, and we become more aware of them...more intentional about looking (or even searching) for them.
This blog post was extra fun for me. Thinking through my day...remembering those little things that made me happy or caused me to smile. My challenge to you is to stop what you're doing, and take one minute...yes, just one minute...to write down on a piece of paper all of the things you can think of...all of the reasons...for you to be thankful today. And, then take another minute...to share them. With me...on this blog or on my Facebook post. Or with a loved one, a co-worker, or a friend. May you be filled with a sense of thankfulness today, too.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Dr. Seuss's Birthday
If you want to express that inner child that's still within you...or share your love of Dr. Seuss with the little ones in your life, then here are a few fun activities to celebrate Dr. Seuss....
[One] Hat Template
(Cut out a strip of paper, measure around child's head, staple, and attach to hat.)
http://printables.atozteacherstuff.com/download/seuss/hat.pdf
[Two] A Whole Slew of Dr. Seuss Printables
http://owensfamily-gwyn.blogspot.com/search/label/Dr.%20Seuss
[Three] "Cat in the Hat" Coloring Page
http://www.seussville.com/activities/2_hats_off.pdf
[Four] One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
http://vanessadewey.com/2012/02/22/dr-seuss-crafts/
[Five] Fun Facts about Dr. Seuss's Books
http://visual.ly/10-facts-about-dr-seuss-books
(Geared more towards school-aged children.)
[Six] Pin the Hat on the Cat
http://takingtimetocreate.blogspot.com/2013/02/dr-seuss-thon-week-1-cat-in-hat-books.html
And, don't forget the fun you can have at breakfast on the morning of March 2nd by adding a little green food coloring to your scrambled eggs...while reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to your little ones.
What other ideas or memories could you share with us to celebrate Dr. Seuss? Feel free to post a comment below.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Positive Adoption Language
Adoption is very near and dear to our hearts. It has blessed our family in amazing ways. Like anything new, adoption has been a journey for us and our family and friends. Until adoption touches your life, it's something that you may not know a lot about. You may fear saying the wrong things. Or worry about what questions to ask...or what to say or not to say.
Through the adoption agency we worked with, Bethany Christian Services, we were able to take advantage of some awesome resources and trainings on adoption-related topics. In turn, we were then able to pass that same information onto our families and friends, so it has become a journey for more than just the two of us. It has meant so much to us to see those close to us desiring to know more about adoption.
As I mentioned earlier, you may fear saying the wrong things when talking to someone who was adopted or is considering adoption. In this post, I thought I could share with you some of the positive adoption language we've learned along the way.
POSITIVE LANGUAGE NEGATIVE LANGUAGE
Birthparent Real parent
Biological parent Natural parent
Birth child Own child
My child Adopted child, own child
Born to unmarried parents Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights Give up
Make an adoption plan Give away
To parent To keep
Waiting child Adoptable child, available child
Biological or birthfather/mother Real father/mother
Parent Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption Foreign adoption
Search Track down parents
Child placed for adoption An unwanted child
Court termination Child taken away
Child with special needs Handicapped child
Child from abroad Foreign child
Was adopted Is adopted
Source: www.adoptivefamilies.com
On a different note, you do not need to fear talking about adoption with me or Brandon. We're still learning, too, and are not judging you if you say something incorrectly. It has taken intentional practice on our parts to get used to the more positive ways of saying certain adoption phrases, and we still catch ourselves saying things incorrectly. Please don't hesitate to ask us questions, too.
It's a wonderful thing when we can connect with others and better understand the different journeys that we've all been on...and continue learning life together!
Through the adoption agency we worked with, Bethany Christian Services, we were able to take advantage of some awesome resources and trainings on adoption-related topics. In turn, we were then able to pass that same information onto our families and friends, so it has become a journey for more than just the two of us. It has meant so much to us to see those close to us desiring to know more about adoption.
As I mentioned earlier, you may fear saying the wrong things when talking to someone who was adopted or is considering adoption. In this post, I thought I could share with you some of the positive adoption language we've learned along the way.
POSITIVE LANGUAGE NEGATIVE LANGUAGE
Birthparent Real parent
Biological parent Natural parent
Birth child Own child
My child Adopted child, own child
Born to unmarried parents Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights Give up
Make an adoption plan Give away
To parent To keep
Waiting child Adoptable child, available child
Biological or birthfather/mother Real father/mother
Parent Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption Foreign adoption
Search Track down parents
Child placed for adoption An unwanted child
Court termination Child taken away
Child with special needs Handicapped child
Child from abroad Foreign child
Was adopted Is adopted
Source: www.adoptivefamilies.com
On a different note, you do not need to fear talking about adoption with me or Brandon. We're still learning, too, and are not judging you if you say something incorrectly. It has taken intentional practice on our parts to get used to the more positive ways of saying certain adoption phrases, and we still catch ourselves saying things incorrectly. Please don't hesitate to ask us questions, too.
It's a wonderful thing when we can connect with others and better understand the different journeys that we've all been on...and continue learning life together!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Valentine's Day Reflections
Valentine's Day can be such a bittersweet holiday. For many, it's a chance to remind those we love...our spouses, our significant others, our children, our parents, our dear friends...that they are cared for and appreciated. But for many others, it's a holiday that's desired to come and go quickly. It hurts. A lot. It stings. Broken relationships. Bitterness. Painful memories. Inexplicable realities. Unanswered questions.
My heart is with those of you that dread Valentine's Day. May you feel loved and know that you're valued and appreciated. In the midst of your pain, may I encourage you today to reach out and show someone else you love them. A selfless gift of love can change your attitude, help to heal your heart. Touch the life of another person. Help to heal their heart, too. Maybe it could be a random act of kindness. Or maybe an intentional act of kindness to someone you've never shown kindness to before...your mailman, the cashier at Target, the person behind you in line at a toll booth on the turnpike. A simple gesture not only lifts the spirits of the receiver...but also of the giver.
A smile.
A brief conversation with or compliment to the person in line behind you at the grocery store.
A cup of coffee for your secretary.
A bouquet of flowers for neighbor who's homebound.
A handmade card...created by you or your child...for a stranger, a friend in need, a loved one you've recently reconnected with.
I was reminded of this on Tuesday morning as I heard a wonderful speaker talk and share about simple ways to show kindness to others at a mom's group that I attend. I wish you all could have heard her message. She made random acts of kindness seem so easy to accomplish, so easy to make into habits. A priority. She was truly inspiring.
This Valentine's Day, may you choose to show love to those around you. May you choose to touch the life of someone around you. And, may you feel blessed in the midst of blessing others.
"...It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
My heart is with those of you that dread Valentine's Day. May you feel loved and know that you're valued and appreciated. In the midst of your pain, may I encourage you today to reach out and show someone else you love them. A selfless gift of love can change your attitude, help to heal your heart. Touch the life of another person. Help to heal their heart, too. Maybe it could be a random act of kindness. Or maybe an intentional act of kindness to someone you've never shown kindness to before...your mailman, the cashier at Target, the person behind you in line at a toll booth on the turnpike. A simple gesture not only lifts the spirits of the receiver...but also of the giver.
A smile.
A brief conversation with or compliment to the person in line behind you at the grocery store.
A cup of coffee for your secretary.
A bouquet of flowers for neighbor who's homebound.
A handmade card...created by you or your child...for a stranger, a friend in need, a loved one you've recently reconnected with.
I was reminded of this on Tuesday morning as I heard a wonderful speaker talk and share about simple ways to show kindness to others at a mom's group that I attend. I wish you all could have heard her message. She made random acts of kindness seem so easy to accomplish, so easy to make into habits. A priority. She was truly inspiring.
This Valentine's Day, may you choose to show love to those around you. May you choose to touch the life of someone around you. And, may you feel blessed in the midst of blessing others.
"...It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35
UPDATE: To ask...or not to ask? That is the question!
So, I did it. I asked.
I'm still in denial a bit. I really did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and proposed the idea of becoming mentors to my dear friend. And, in case you're wondering...yes, in a way, it was totally like asking someone to prom. I had the butterflies in my stomach. I stuttered. I probably even had the slightly clammy hands and slightly sweaty arm pits. Ha! (And, to be honest...I'm suspecting that my dear friend will LAUGH, possibly even out loud, when she reads this blog about how I felt...because we've known each other for years, and so, it's kind of comical that I'd allow myself to get nervous over this.)
But, it was all okay.
It didn't matter in the end that I stuttered. It didn't matter that I didn't know exactly what to say or how to say it. It just didn't. Because in the end, she said, "Yes."
I am beyond grateful for her role in my life. For her example. For her genuine love and care for me and for our family. I am inspired by her. I am inspired by who she's continuing to become. Made in the image of God. Growing in her faith. Taking risks. Embracing challenges.
And, that's EXACTLY how I want to live my life.
Not always in comfort. Not always the safe way. I want to live wisely, presenting things humbly before God, asking Him to guide and direct me. I want to accept challenges and enable God to work in me and through me. I'm excited to meet with her regularly, to pray together, to hold one another accountable. I'm thankful that God has placed her in my life.
We don't know what all it means to be mentors. We aren't following a formula. But, we do know how to care for one another. How to reach out to each other. How to love and care and pray for one another. And, I'm thinking that's an okay place to start.
So, with open and teachable hearts, we're officially entering the world of mentoring. I'm filled with a deep thankfulness...feeling very blessed today. I'm thankful that there are so many wonderful people in my life, including my dear friend & mentor, who make an impact on I am, who bless me richly...daily.
I'm still in denial a bit. I really did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and proposed the idea of becoming mentors to my dear friend. And, in case you're wondering...yes, in a way, it was totally like asking someone to prom. I had the butterflies in my stomach. I stuttered. I probably even had the slightly clammy hands and slightly sweaty arm pits. Ha! (And, to be honest...I'm suspecting that my dear friend will LAUGH, possibly even out loud, when she reads this blog about how I felt...because we've known each other for years, and so, it's kind of comical that I'd allow myself to get nervous over this.)
But, it was all okay.
It didn't matter in the end that I stuttered. It didn't matter that I didn't know exactly what to say or how to say it. It just didn't. Because in the end, she said, "Yes."
I am beyond grateful for her role in my life. For her example. For her genuine love and care for me and for our family. I am inspired by her. I am inspired by who she's continuing to become. Made in the image of God. Growing in her faith. Taking risks. Embracing challenges.
And, that's EXACTLY how I want to live my life.
Not always in comfort. Not always the safe way. I want to live wisely, presenting things humbly before God, asking Him to guide and direct me. I want to accept challenges and enable God to work in me and through me. I'm excited to meet with her regularly, to pray together, to hold one another accountable. I'm thankful that God has placed her in my life.
We don't know what all it means to be mentors. We aren't following a formula. But, we do know how to care for one another. How to reach out to each other. How to love and care and pray for one another. And, I'm thinking that's an okay place to start.
So, with open and teachable hearts, we're officially entering the world of mentoring. I'm filled with a deep thankfulness...feeling very blessed today. I'm thankful that there are so many wonderful people in my life, including my dear friend & mentor, who make an impact on I am, who bless me richly...daily.
Friday, February 8, 2013
We can now add "Crib Escape Artist" to her resume.
At 3:30 AM, Brandon and I both awoke to a little one walking into our bedroom.
It freaked us out!
Mya has never officially climbed out of her crib, yet, and so for two very sound-sleepers, we quickly feared it was a home invasion.
And in a way, it was. A home invasion by our 2-year old into our bedroom...in the MIDDLE of the night. I'm still amazed how this all went down. It was pitch-dark in our house. She figured out how to climb out of her crib for the first time, make her way to her bedroom door and open it, walk briefly down the hallway, and enter our bedroom. To which her first words were, "Daddy. Mommy. Want to climb in bed with you."
I can't figure out if she was sleep walking...or if she was awake enough to process all of this in the night to take action and physically walk to us to solve her problem. She wanted to sleep in our bed. She must have been awake enough.
The irony?
She's never once slept in our bed. So we have no idea where that came from, too. How she got this thought in her mind at 3:30 AM (or just before that) and took action...is beyond our understanding.
Brandon and I were both bewildered. We asked if she was okay...to which she repeated that she wanted to sleep in our bed. Brandon kindly scooped her up and mentioned to me that he'd take care of putting her back into her bed...her crib. He talked with her (mentioning it's not okay to climb out of her bed, that she needs to call for us instead) and rocked her for a bit. While rocking her, he asked if she was okay...she mentioned that her back hurt a little bit (maybe from the crib escape?)...but quickly drifted back to sleep.
And as if that weren't enough of an attempt to sleep in our room with us last night...I then heard her cries again at 4:40 AM. This time, I quickly got up and went into her room, only to find her STANDING in her crib this time. She obeyed. Thankfully. She begged to sleep in our room again. I hugged her and reminded her that she cannot sleep in our room. I rocked her for a bit...and again, she quickly returned to sleep. For the remainder of the night. Thankfully.
It's hard as a momma. Sometimes, I just wanna scoop her up and let her sleep in our room with us. But this gut feeling always sways me to stay true to my words. Mya doesn't forget anything...so if I tell her one thing and do another, she will literally call me out on it. I've witnessed this in a 2-year old kind of way. And it's almost like she knows this...that she cannot sleep in our room...but she just wants to make sure, just wants to test us...even if it's at 3:30 in the morning.
I don't wanna be a momma that isn't flexible, that isn't willing to change my ways. But I also don't wanna fall into a pattern of allowing our little one to rule our home.
I'm thankful for God's grace, for His wisdom. I'm thankful in moments like this, I can turn to Him and ask for His guidance. (To be honest, I did not turn to Him at 3:30 AM...I reacted quickly instead to my gut feeling, but as I process it now while typing this blog, it's kind of like my way of talking to God right now and asking Him to guide and lead me.) I'm also thankful for the other mommies in my life that I can get feedback from...that I can learn from. It's amazing how much I learn from other moms. It's a gift. And, it's amazing what God can teach me every single day. If I'm open to it. If I'm watching for it. If I allow Him to work in my life.
It freaked us out!
Mya has never officially climbed out of her crib, yet, and so for two very sound-sleepers, we quickly feared it was a home invasion.
And in a way, it was. A home invasion by our 2-year old into our bedroom...in the MIDDLE of the night. I'm still amazed how this all went down. It was pitch-dark in our house. She figured out how to climb out of her crib for the first time, make her way to her bedroom door and open it, walk briefly down the hallway, and enter our bedroom. To which her first words were, "Daddy. Mommy. Want to climb in bed with you."
I can't figure out if she was sleep walking...or if she was awake enough to process all of this in the night to take action and physically walk to us to solve her problem. She wanted to sleep in our bed. She must have been awake enough.
The irony?
She's never once slept in our bed. So we have no idea where that came from, too. How she got this thought in her mind at 3:30 AM (or just before that) and took action...is beyond our understanding.
Brandon and I were both bewildered. We asked if she was okay...to which she repeated that she wanted to sleep in our bed. Brandon kindly scooped her up and mentioned to me that he'd take care of putting her back into her bed...her crib. He talked with her (mentioning it's not okay to climb out of her bed, that she needs to call for us instead) and rocked her for a bit. While rocking her, he asked if she was okay...she mentioned that her back hurt a little bit (maybe from the crib escape?)...but quickly drifted back to sleep.
And as if that weren't enough of an attempt to sleep in our room with us last night...I then heard her cries again at 4:40 AM. This time, I quickly got up and went into her room, only to find her STANDING in her crib this time. She obeyed. Thankfully. She begged to sleep in our room again. I hugged her and reminded her that she cannot sleep in our room. I rocked her for a bit...and again, she quickly returned to sleep. For the remainder of the night. Thankfully.
It's hard as a momma. Sometimes, I just wanna scoop her up and let her sleep in our room with us. But this gut feeling always sways me to stay true to my words. Mya doesn't forget anything...so if I tell her one thing and do another, she will literally call me out on it. I've witnessed this in a 2-year old kind of way. And it's almost like she knows this...that she cannot sleep in our room...but she just wants to make sure, just wants to test us...even if it's at 3:30 in the morning.
I don't wanna be a momma that isn't flexible, that isn't willing to change my ways. But I also don't wanna fall into a pattern of allowing our little one to rule our home.
I'm thankful for God's grace, for His wisdom. I'm thankful in moments like this, I can turn to Him and ask for His guidance. (To be honest, I did not turn to Him at 3:30 AM...I reacted quickly instead to my gut feeling, but as I process it now while typing this blog, it's kind of like my way of talking to God right now and asking Him to guide and lead me.) I'm also thankful for the other mommies in my life that I can get feedback from...that I can learn from. It's amazing how much I learn from other moms. It's a gift. And, it's amazing what God can teach me every single day. If I'm open to it. If I'm watching for it. If I allow Him to work in my life.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monkey Backpack
For Christmas, Mya received an adorable monkey backpack from my dear aunt and uncle. She instantly loved it. (And, so did I!) She no sooner had it unwrapped 'til she had the thing positioned just right on her little shoulders and was trucking all around the room...as proud as a peacock...that she had received her very own "big girl" backpack.
Mya's new backpack came at just the right time.
She and I attend a mom's group called, "Connections" at Mellinger Mennonite Church on Tuesday mornings, and after the Christmas holiday, I planned to bump Mya up to the next age group...to the "two year olds" class...during Connections. I began talking with her about a week before this new change was about to occur...to help ease any anxieties she might have. We talked about how her new class would have new teachers, how she would get to make lots of new friends, and how she'd now get to enjoy play time, along with a story time AND a snack time! She was very excited. But, she was even more excited when I informed her that she could now take her monkey backpack with her to "her school." She squealed in delight. In her little heart, I think she instantly felt like a "big girl."
Isn't it funny how little children want so desperately to be big?! Grown up.
They want to be independent, do things on their own...and certainly in their own timing. They express strong wills when anyone...specifically an adult...crosses over their territorial line. And, they insist on doing most anything by themselves. As a mom of a two year old, this can be very tiring...and very draining. But in these moments, I try to remind myself that, as much as it saddens me in some ways that she's growing up so quickly, it's important and quite healthy for Mya to gain independence. It's still my job to help mold and shape her into a selfless, empathetic, and caring individual...daily. That alone will take years, if not an entire lifetime. It's also my job to keep her safe, and at times, discipline her to prevent injury or help her to better understand when to listen, when to obey, when to not question but just do. To help her to see the world is not centered on her. The thought of how important my job as a mom is can feel scary and a tad overwhelming at times...and also quite humbling. It forces me to depend on God, to seek His will for me and for Mya, and to extend grace and forgiveness often. It requires me to pray and seek forgiveness and wisdom for myself, too.
I have to admit...The first time Mya and I walked down the hallway to her new classroom at Connections, I felt like life was fast-forwarding to the day we'll drop her off at Kindergarten for the first time. My mommy heart filled with joy and excitement as she hung up her tiny coat and little monkey backpack...as she anticipated school. And, my mommy heart warmly embraced some extra long hugs that morning as Mya wasn't quite ready to depart from me...to cross over the line to this new milestone, this new classroom. Mya had a few tears, I wiped them, and she entered the room and didn't look back. She was ready to go. I needed to let her fly. I felt in that moment like I was a mother bird...watching my little baby bird spread her wings and fly for the first time.
It was scary...and kind of sad.
But, I needed to let her do it. I needed to let her go.
She is not my child...She is God's child. Nothing will be more rewarding for me, as Mya's mommy, than to watch her grow and mature and follow her heart...seeking the Lord's will for her life. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do know that the Lord is walking with us each day, equipping us for the next steps in our journeys.
Today, I will choose to trust the next steps that the Lord has for my life...and for Mya's life, too...monkey backpack and all.
Mya's new backpack came at just the right time.
She and I attend a mom's group called, "Connections" at Mellinger Mennonite Church on Tuesday mornings, and after the Christmas holiday, I planned to bump Mya up to the next age group...to the "two year olds" class...during Connections. I began talking with her about a week before this new change was about to occur...to help ease any anxieties she might have. We talked about how her new class would have new teachers, how she would get to make lots of new friends, and how she'd now get to enjoy play time, along with a story time AND a snack time! She was very excited. But, she was even more excited when I informed her that she could now take her monkey backpack with her to "her school." She squealed in delight. In her little heart, I think she instantly felt like a "big girl."
Isn't it funny how little children want so desperately to be big?! Grown up.
They want to be independent, do things on their own...and certainly in their own timing. They express strong wills when anyone...specifically an adult...crosses over their territorial line. And, they insist on doing most anything by themselves. As a mom of a two year old, this can be very tiring...and very draining. But in these moments, I try to remind myself that, as much as it saddens me in some ways that she's growing up so quickly, it's important and quite healthy for Mya to gain independence. It's still my job to help mold and shape her into a selfless, empathetic, and caring individual...daily. That alone will take years, if not an entire lifetime. It's also my job to keep her safe, and at times, discipline her to prevent injury or help her to better understand when to listen, when to obey, when to not question but just do. To help her to see the world is not centered on her. The thought of how important my job as a mom is can feel scary and a tad overwhelming at times...and also quite humbling. It forces me to depend on God, to seek His will for me and for Mya, and to extend grace and forgiveness often. It requires me to pray and seek forgiveness and wisdom for myself, too.
I have to admit...The first time Mya and I walked down the hallway to her new classroom at Connections, I felt like life was fast-forwarding to the day we'll drop her off at Kindergarten for the first time. My mommy heart filled with joy and excitement as she hung up her tiny coat and little monkey backpack...as she anticipated school. And, my mommy heart warmly embraced some extra long hugs that morning as Mya wasn't quite ready to depart from me...to cross over the line to this new milestone, this new classroom. Mya had a few tears, I wiped them, and she entered the room and didn't look back. She was ready to go. I needed to let her fly. I felt in that moment like I was a mother bird...watching my little baby bird spread her wings and fly for the first time.
It was scary...and kind of sad.
But, I needed to let her do it. I needed to let her go.
She is not my child...She is God's child. Nothing will be more rewarding for me, as Mya's mommy, than to watch her grow and mature and follow her heart...seeking the Lord's will for her life. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do know that the Lord is walking with us each day, equipping us for the next steps in our journeys.
Today, I will choose to trust the next steps that the Lord has for my life...and for Mya's life, too...monkey backpack and all.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Slow down, Kristen.
Do you ever have the feeling that you need to slow down? Rest? Take a break from things? Or, maybe you feel a pull to eliminate items in your schedule to reduce, to remove, to reshift, to refocus?
This past weekend was a rough one for me (specifically, Sunday)...I did not feel well. At all. I'm always amazed that days like these seem to fall, almost strategically, on weekends when Brandon is able to step in and take over caring for Mya and our home. I'm so thankful in these moments that he's so willing, so eager to keep things running as smoothly as he can...without me. My personality tends to keep busy, to keep going. I'm convinced, at times, that it takes an illness for me to stop and breathe and rest. It's like God is there whispering in my ear, "Slow down, Kristen"...and telling me to keep my focus on Him, reminding me that I cannot do everything on my own. I just can't. I'm not supposed to be able to do everything on my own. I need others. I need to depend on them. And, on days that I'm sick, I'm reminded that I need others just to get by with the simplest tasks of life.
I don't like missing things either. I don't like not being able to fulfill my end of responsibilities. I feel like I'm letting people down all around me. I don't know if it's for selfish reasons that I don't like being sick...but one thing I do know is that I really dislike feeling awful physically and not being able to sleep. It's a wicked combination. I'm someone who needs my sleep, so not sleeping and not feeling well causes me to feel downright crappy. I can easily feel down during these crappy moments. Naturally, because my body aches and longs to feel healthy again. But also because life doesn't feel normal when I'm sick.
I feel helpless. Exhausted. Sad.
In those moments of sickness, my mind is often reminded of my need to be ever-thankful for the many days that I do feel okay. I try not to take those days for granted. That I do have the energy to live. To press on. I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have good health for the most part. I'm reminded of the help just waiting around me to step in, to assist...for me to lean and depend on in my moments of sickness. Such a blessing! I'm thankful for doctors, for medicine, for 24-hour pharmacies within a fifteen minute's drive from our home. I'm thankful for the many good days, and it helps me to embrace and stay strong and fight through the not-so-great ones, too.
Proverbs 3:1-8
My child, never forget the things I have taught you.
Store my commands in your heart.
If you do this, you will live many years,
and your life will be satisfying.
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart.
Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.
This past weekend was a rough one for me (specifically, Sunday)...I did not feel well. At all. I'm always amazed that days like these seem to fall, almost strategically, on weekends when Brandon is able to step in and take over caring for Mya and our home. I'm so thankful in these moments that he's so willing, so eager to keep things running as smoothly as he can...without me. My personality tends to keep busy, to keep going. I'm convinced, at times, that it takes an illness for me to stop and breathe and rest. It's like God is there whispering in my ear, "Slow down, Kristen"...and telling me to keep my focus on Him, reminding me that I cannot do everything on my own. I just can't. I'm not supposed to be able to do everything on my own. I need others. I need to depend on them. And, on days that I'm sick, I'm reminded that I need others just to get by with the simplest tasks of life.
I don't like missing things either. I don't like not being able to fulfill my end of responsibilities. I feel like I'm letting people down all around me. I don't know if it's for selfish reasons that I don't like being sick...but one thing I do know is that I really dislike feeling awful physically and not being able to sleep. It's a wicked combination. I'm someone who needs my sleep, so not sleeping and not feeling well causes me to feel downright crappy. I can easily feel down during these crappy moments. Naturally, because my body aches and longs to feel healthy again. But also because life doesn't feel normal when I'm sick.
I feel helpless. Exhausted. Sad.
In those moments of sickness, my mind is often reminded of my need to be ever-thankful for the many days that I do feel okay. I try not to take those days for granted. That I do have the energy to live. To press on. I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have good health for the most part. I'm reminded of the help just waiting around me to step in, to assist...for me to lean and depend on in my moments of sickness. Such a blessing! I'm thankful for doctors, for medicine, for 24-hour pharmacies within a fifteen minute's drive from our home. I'm thankful for the many good days, and it helps me to embrace and stay strong and fight through the not-so-great ones, too.
Proverbs 3:1-8
My child, never forget the things I have taught you.
Store my commands in your heart.
If you do this, you will live many years,
and your life will be satisfying.
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart.
Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Happy Groundhog Day!
So, what's the verdict? More Winter weather...or is warmer, Spring-like weather just around the corner??
The answer (at least according to our famous groundhog source):
SPRING is on its way!!!
Click here to read the article.
If the vote were up to me...and if I had a connection to that silly Punxsutawney Phil, I'd vote for warmer weather to arrive soon, too, so I'm happy to hear today's verdict. I can tolerate winter...and love the deeper meaning and beauty behind the blessing of four very distinct seasons (at least here on the East Coast)...but my heart longs for warmer (even HOT) weather. I love summer. I always have.
Although this year's prediction is on my side, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the next six weeks or so bring. I can't change it, so I'm not gonna dwell on it...but in the mean time, I may as well share some FUN Groundhog's Day activities with you to do with the kiddos in your life.
Use these ideas as they are or as templates to let your (or your kiddos') imaginations run wild.
PRINTABLE COLORING PAGES
PRINTABLE PAPER BAG PUPPET
Please note: When clicking "print," only print the first page. This link provides you with access to 40+ pages of printables, but the Groundhog printout is the first page.
TWO OTHER ACTIVITIES
The answer (at least according to our famous groundhog source):
SPRING is on its way!!!
Click here to read the article.
If the vote were up to me...and if I had a connection to that silly Punxsutawney Phil, I'd vote for warmer weather to arrive soon, too, so I'm happy to hear today's verdict. I can tolerate winter...and love the deeper meaning and beauty behind the blessing of four very distinct seasons (at least here on the East Coast)...but my heart longs for warmer (even HOT) weather. I love summer. I always have.
Although this year's prediction is on my side, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the next six weeks or so bring. I can't change it, so I'm not gonna dwell on it...but in the mean time, I may as well share some FUN Groundhog's Day activities with you to do with the kiddos in your life.
Use these ideas as they are or as templates to let your (or your kiddos') imaginations run wild.
PRINTABLE COLORING PAGES
PRINTABLE PAPER BAG PUPPET
Please note: When clicking "print," only print the first page. This link provides you with access to 40+ pages of printables, but the Groundhog printout is the first page.
TWO OTHER ACTIVITIES
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