When our daughter was just 8-months old, we were on vacation and cooling off in the pool at our condo. With her sun hat covering her fine, straight baby hair and shielding her from the sun, she was squealing with delight as she splashed in the water while in my arms. Another swimmer - a little girl who was probably around 10-years old - was fascinated at watching Mya in the water. I noticed this little girl watching us and smiling and moments later, she swam over to me and Mya and said,
"Your daughter looks just like you."
I smiled and thanked her. In my heart, I knew that my daughter didn't really look like me. But I cherished this little girl's kind words. It made my heart smile, and her comment has stuck with me to this day.
[Fast-forward to now.]
Hardly a week goes by where I don't ask our daughter...
"Could I have one of your curls?"
And without hesitation, she almost always says, "No, Mommy. I want my curls." [I'll often tease her a bit, and we'll bounce back-and-forth words like - "But I want them. No, I want them. But I really want them."] Our conversation ends with giggles.
If you know us, you know that our daughter, Mya, has quite curly hair. And I remind her each time that she could spare just one of her curls for me to have on my head of super stick-straight, doesn't-hold-an-ounce-of-curl-unless-plastered-with-hairspray hair. But - she insists on keeping all of her curls, and I don't blame her.
When we brought our daughter home and I became her momma, I started to feel this internal desire to build her inner beauty. To help her feel comfortable in her own skin. To be confident in who she is and in how God created her.
My daughter looks [outwardly] very different from me. Her milk chocolate-colored skin, deep brown eyes, super long eyelashes, and tightly curled brown (with a hint of red) hair contrasts pretty boldly with my vanilla-colored skin, bright blue eyes, not-long eyelashes, and very straight dirty blonde hair. And I love it.
As her momma, I catch myself wondering how long it will be until she knows and sees and understands our differences.
I see so much that she has in common with my husband and me. But the outward differences do exist. And I don't want to lessen those differences. In fact, I love our differences. I think our differences are really cool.
And if anything, I'm thankful for our differences.
Our differences have taught me the true meaning of what it means to be a family. What it means to be a mom. What it means to love. And what it means to embrace our differences and be empowered by them.
So with Mya's curly hair and my straight hair, we're gonna continue to venture through life together. Cherishing our similarities. Learning from each other. And embracing our differences.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
More Valentine Card Ideas - WITHOUT Candy!
A few weeks ago, I shared TEN VALENTINE'S DAY CARD ideas with you. Click here to check out these fun and very inexpensive ideas.
And now, with Valentine's Day being just a little over TWO WEEKS AWAY, here are EIGHT MORE non-candy valentine ideas. Thank you, Sassy Dealz blog, for these great ideas! Click on each image for step-by-step instructions.
[1] Twinkies + Despicable Me!
[2] Bananas
[3] Microwave Popcorn
[4] Pop-Tarts
[5] Cheez-It Crackers
[6] Apple Slices
[7] Grapes
[8] Bouncy Ball
And now, with Valentine's Day being just a little over TWO WEEKS AWAY, here are EIGHT MORE non-candy valentine ideas. Thank you, Sassy Dealz blog, for these great ideas! Click on each image for step-by-step instructions.
[1] Twinkies + Despicable Me!
[2] Bananas
[3] Microwave Popcorn
[4] Pop-Tarts
[5] Cheez-It Crackers
[6] Apple Slices
[7] Grapes
[8] Bouncy Ball
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Healing from Pain
I am part of a ladies book club at our church. We meet one or two Saturdays each month, discuss the chapter read, and share. Opening up our hearts to one another - sharing our life experiences, gaining insight, and learning more about the other ladies, ourselves, and God.
I cherish these Saturday morning book discussions.
And one theme that keeps coming to my mind each time we meet is that we all have something to share, something to give to one another.
When I think of my life experiences so far, I don't think of myself as someone with important information or knowledge or insight to pass along. I don't consider our struggles with infertility anything special or out-of-the-ordinary. But the ladies of this book club remind me that I do have something to share. Something to give back. And if my life experience with infertility (and later adoption) can benefit just one person then I will continue to share.
When I think back to those days of deeply longing...desiring...to have a child and to become a mom, I can immediately go right back there in my mind and heart. It deeply impacted me. And although your struggles and hardships might be very different than mine, I can tell you that pain is pain. Pain is gut-wrenching and hard. Pain can feel never-ending. Pain can make us feel completely overwhelmed.
Infertility caused me pain. Deep pain.
Infertility was my first real memory of a life situation that was hugely out of my control. And when you're in that place of not being in control...and trusting in someone or something else...life's down-right scary.
People have often asked me, "How did you get through it?" "How did you go on?"
There were days I wasn't sure how to go on. There were days that my heart hurt so badly that I just wanted to cry...and I did. Crying is a beautiful thing. Humbling, at times, but cleansing and invigorating. I remember moments in our journey that I would go into our bedroom, curl up into the fetal position on the floor, and pour my heart out...crying and sobbing...to the Lord. I questioned Him. I pleaded with Him. And admittedly, I even got mad at Him. But each time I went to that place of releasing it all and turning it over to Him, I was filled with peace.
I also chose to focus on others. While going through infertility, my mind would often try to focus on myself and on our situation and on how bad it was for me and on and on. I came to a place where I recognized that focusing on me was not going to make it better. I had to often choose to think about other things and be intentional about asking others how they were doing. I did not want to allow myself to become selfish in the midst of my pain. And I knew others were going through junk, worse junk than our situation. Allowing myself to focus on others and think outwardly, rather than inwardly, really helped my heart, enabled healing to take place, and kept things in perspective.
I wanted people in my life to keep me accountable, too. Yes, there were times when I needed to cry. Yes, it was okay and justified for me to be mad at times, too. Yes, I was allowed to wish things were different or wish I didn't have to go through this. But sometimes I just needed my close friends and family to remind me that I was going to be okay. They challenged me to think things through differently, encouraged me, or simply listened. For me, having someone to just listen was the best medicine at times. I could vent and release things...and yet stay grounded in the Lord...because of their accountability.
And lastly, I did everything and anything I could do to stay positive and hopeful. I would write encouraging Scripture passages or thought-provoking quotes on a note card and place it in my car or on our bathroom mirror to see it each morning. We went on many date nights and did things spontaneously and just-for-the-fun-of-it, knowing that with kids, that would one day change a bit. I continued working with children, at a preschool and at dance lessons, because I knew that was good for me; they always had a way of making me laugh and bringing joy to my life. I sent cards to friends, thanking them for their friendship. We got more involved in our church. Surrounding ourselves with the people and things we loved enabled us to focus, yet again, on other things...as we waited and waited...patiently on the Lord's timing.
And just to be clear, let me take a moment to say that I did not handle everything about our situation perfectly or anywhere near perfectly. I'm sure many of you reading this can think of an example where I wasn't kind or friendly or talkative to you. As you interact and love others, remember that we don't always know what's going on in someone else's life; there could be a perfectly good explanation for something. And I'm sure there were times that I was hurting. Deeply.
If you're stuck in a rotten situation, let me take a moment to let you know that "I'm sorry." Life sucks. It's not easy and was never intended to be easy. Facing infertility and the longing for a child head-on, I experienced for the first time how deeply God loves me. Some people might look at our situation and think "how could you love a God that didn't allow you to carry a child." I don't have the perfect answer. But what I can tell you is that God is a loving God. He knew this path was the best path for us. It's not going to be a perfect path or an easy path, but it's the right path for me. I can either be bitter about not carrying a child, or I can embrace it. I can either hate God, or I can accept His plan for my life.
Infertility, like many other life situations, can. be. redeemed. Beautiful things can come out of it. May you remember today that your situation can be redeemed, too.
I cherish these Saturday morning book discussions.
And one theme that keeps coming to my mind each time we meet is that we all have something to share, something to give to one another.
When I think of my life experiences so far, I don't think of myself as someone with important information or knowledge or insight to pass along. I don't consider our struggles with infertility anything special or out-of-the-ordinary. But the ladies of this book club remind me that I do have something to share. Something to give back. And if my life experience with infertility (and later adoption) can benefit just one person then I will continue to share.
When I think back to those days of deeply longing...desiring...to have a child and to become a mom, I can immediately go right back there in my mind and heart. It deeply impacted me. And although your struggles and hardships might be very different than mine, I can tell you that pain is pain. Pain is gut-wrenching and hard. Pain can feel never-ending. Pain can make us feel completely overwhelmed.
Infertility caused me pain. Deep pain.
Infertility was my first real memory of a life situation that was hugely out of my control. And when you're in that place of not being in control...and trusting in someone or something else...life's down-right scary.
People have often asked me, "How did you get through it?" "How did you go on?"
There were days I wasn't sure how to go on. There were days that my heart hurt so badly that I just wanted to cry...and I did. Crying is a beautiful thing. Humbling, at times, but cleansing and invigorating. I remember moments in our journey that I would go into our bedroom, curl up into the fetal position on the floor, and pour my heart out...crying and sobbing...to the Lord. I questioned Him. I pleaded with Him. And admittedly, I even got mad at Him. But each time I went to that place of releasing it all and turning it over to Him, I was filled with peace.
I also chose to focus on others. While going through infertility, my mind would often try to focus on myself and on our situation and on how bad it was for me and on and on. I came to a place where I recognized that focusing on me was not going to make it better. I had to often choose to think about other things and be intentional about asking others how they were doing. I did not want to allow myself to become selfish in the midst of my pain. And I knew others were going through junk, worse junk than our situation. Allowing myself to focus on others and think outwardly, rather than inwardly, really helped my heart, enabled healing to take place, and kept things in perspective.
I wanted people in my life to keep me accountable, too. Yes, there were times when I needed to cry. Yes, it was okay and justified for me to be mad at times, too. Yes, I was allowed to wish things were different or wish I didn't have to go through this. But sometimes I just needed my close friends and family to remind me that I was going to be okay. They challenged me to think things through differently, encouraged me, or simply listened. For me, having someone to just listen was the best medicine at times. I could vent and release things...and yet stay grounded in the Lord...because of their accountability.
And lastly, I did everything and anything I could do to stay positive and hopeful. I would write encouraging Scripture passages or thought-provoking quotes on a note card and place it in my car or on our bathroom mirror to see it each morning. We went on many date nights and did things spontaneously and just-for-the-fun-of-it, knowing that with kids, that would one day change a bit. I continued working with children, at a preschool and at dance lessons, because I knew that was good for me; they always had a way of making me laugh and bringing joy to my life. I sent cards to friends, thanking them for their friendship. We got more involved in our church. Surrounding ourselves with the people and things we loved enabled us to focus, yet again, on other things...as we waited and waited...patiently on the Lord's timing.
And just to be clear, let me take a moment to say that I did not handle everything about our situation perfectly or anywhere near perfectly. I'm sure many of you reading this can think of an example where I wasn't kind or friendly or talkative to you. As you interact and love others, remember that we don't always know what's going on in someone else's life; there could be a perfectly good explanation for something. And I'm sure there were times that I was hurting. Deeply.
If you're stuck in a rotten situation, let me take a moment to let you know that "I'm sorry." Life sucks. It's not easy and was never intended to be easy. Facing infertility and the longing for a child head-on, I experienced for the first time how deeply God loves me. Some people might look at our situation and think "how could you love a God that didn't allow you to carry a child." I don't have the perfect answer. But what I can tell you is that God is a loving God. He knew this path was the best path for us. It's not going to be a perfect path or an easy path, but it's the right path for me. I can either be bitter about not carrying a child, or I can embrace it. I can either hate God, or I can accept His plan for my life.
Infertility, like many other life situations, can. be. redeemed. Beautiful things can come out of it. May you remember today that your situation can be redeemed, too.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Winter, the real Spring. Say what?
When I first read this quote in a Real Simple magazine back in the Fall, it got me thinking. I've never been a huge fan of Winter time. I don't love the cold weather. I don't love the dry air in our home or the headaches caused by the weather. I don't love when snow or ice cause traveling to become dangerous or prevent the normal routines of life to go on. I also don't love how our daylight is so limited during the winter months.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
It might sound like I'm whining. And I admit that I might be. Ha! Every ounce of me, though, loves warmer weather, sunshine, and flowers, gardening, the beach, cooking on the grill, and spending evenings outdoors.
But there's such truth behind the words of this quote.
For if it weren't for Winter and cold and rest, there wouldn't be the necessary preparation for Spring and warmth and growth. What symbolism this quote holds for our own lives as well! For if my life doesn't have times of darkness, hardships, and trials, I might never see the beauty or truly understand the gifts that life can provide when they arrive. And in the midst of those difficult times, if I don't choose to look inside myself, dig deep, seek hope and peace, take ownership in and responsibility for my situation, and allow myself to become teachable and humbled by the events, I won't be ready to truly embrace the opportunities that lie ahead. Much like this quote mentions, I won't allow the resurgence to happen unless I allow the necessary steps to take place.
For if it weren't for Winter and cold and rest, there wouldn't be the necessary preparation for Spring and warmth and growth. What symbolism this quote holds for our own lives as well! For if my life doesn't have times of darkness, hardships, and trials, I might never see the beauty or truly understand the gifts that life can provide when they arrive. And in the midst of those difficult times, if I don't choose to look inside myself, dig deep, seek hope and peace, take ownership in and responsibility for my situation, and allow myself to become teachable and humbled by the events, I won't be ready to truly embrace the opportunities that lie ahead. Much like this quote mentions, I won't allow the resurgence to happen unless I allow the necessary steps to take place.
My desire is that this quote brings you HOPE...in the midst of these cold days of January...as we patiently wait for SPRING to arrive. At just the right time.
************
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-7
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Valentine's Day Cards
On these cold and snowy winter days...when kids are home from school...why not start working on their classroom Valentine's Day cards now?
Here are some fun ideas for you to use or to inspire you...Click on each image for step-by-step or video instructions.
[1] "I mustache you a question" - with FREE printable tags!
[2] Mason Jars - with FREE printable template!
[3] Friendship Bracelets - with FREE printable template!
[4] Finger Light Valentines - this template costs just $2.00!
[5] Magnifying Glass Valentines - this template costs just $2.00!
[6] Mini Notebook
[7] I'm your biggest fan! - Click on image for VIDEO instructions.
[8] It's o-FISH-al, you're the best kid ever! - Tag can be downloaded here. Click on images for more Valentine cards ideas, too.
[9] Candy Robots
[10] Googly Eye Valentines - I had trouble with this download but hopefully it's fixed soon! Such a cute idea.
Here are some fun ideas for you to use or to inspire you...Click on each image for step-by-step or video instructions.
[1] "I mustache you a question" - with FREE printable tags!
[2] Mason Jars - with FREE printable template!
[3] Friendship Bracelets - with FREE printable template!
[4] Finger Light Valentines - this template costs just $2.00!
[5] Magnifying Glass Valentines - this template costs just $2.00!
[6] Mini Notebook
[7] I'm your biggest fan! - Click on image for VIDEO instructions.
[8] It's o-FISH-al, you're the best kid ever! - Tag can be downloaded here. Click on images for more Valentine cards ideas, too.
[9] Candy Robots
[10] Googly Eye Valentines - I had trouble with this download but hopefully it's fixed soon! Such a cute idea.
Monday, January 6, 2014
A Magazine Worth Reading!
I love a good magazine. And I especially love when I stumble upon a new magazine (well, new for me anyway). One that's different than others. One that challenges me in new ways.
A couple of months ago, a lady shared a magazine with me. A gift. I brought it home, eager to read it, but tossed it on my pile of items-to-be-read-sometime-soon. For several days, the magazine didn't get my attention. But one evening after my day's responsibilities were done, I opened the magazine up. I couldn't put it down. And for the first time, I chose...willingly...to read it almost cover-to-cover. It had my full attention.
I was encouraged by this magazine.
I was empowered by this magazine.
I was inspired by the ideas in this magazine, by the Scriptures shared, and by its simplicity.
It was like no magazine I had ever read before. This magazine is a cross between "Real Simple" - "Country Living" - "House Beautiful" - and - "Good Housekeeping" - with a dash of "Daily Bread." You'll find encouragement, inspiration, advice, and hope.
This magazine..."life:beautiful"...makes a great gift to the ladies in your life. My mom just got her first copy in the mail this week for her birthday. Check it out. I think you're gonna like it.
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