We just celebrated our daughter's FOURTH birthday last week!!!
I love the joy and celebration that surrounds a birthday. But as an adoptive momma, I also can't help but think of our daughter's birth-mom on those days, too. Our joy may very well still be her pain. Her separation and heartache became our joy and reason to celebrate in early November each year.
Schedules, timing, life going on...whatever the reason may be...it just hasn't worked out this year for us to meet up with our daughter's biological family. I can feel guilty about this. I've sent emails, expressing the invitation to get together with them, but as with all open adoption relationships, there's no set formula for staying connected. No official plans have been made. What was once a yearly get-together for our family with our daughter's biological family may be changing...or maybe not.
But one thing that stays the same is her biological family's birthdays each year, too. Our connection to Mya's biological family has been primarily with three people: her biological mom, her biological grandma, and her half-brother. And they ALL have November birthdays, as well.
It may seem small. It may seem unnecessary. But for us, we like to honor their birthdays each year by sending them a card. And as our daughter's gotten older, she's enjoyed adding her special artist touches to their cards. We're getting ready to mail these cards and drawings out soon --
On her own, our daughter wanted to include the words "You are so special" and "I love you" in her drawings for her biological mom. I'm proud of her for choosing those words. It kinda caught me off guard; it can feel sort of scary for her to say those words to me about her biological mom. But I'm choosing to support our daughter's words. In fact, I'm thankful that that's her perception of this woman in her life. I'm thankful for the respect and love that she does have for her. My prayer is that our daughter's birth-mom will receive these special gifts with love and appreciation and not hurt and pain.
Being an adoptive mom (and hopefully soon-to-be foster mom), life continues to be a learning curve. Navigating birthdays and holidays. Explaining life and how our family was formed. Completing school projects in the years ahead - family trees, family history. But through God's grace, I desire for Him to work through me each step of the way.
No life event is too big (or too small) for our God to handle.
