Where to Start?

Friends,

It's been AGES since I've shared with you.  Frankly, for months, I haven't known where to start or what to say.  So much has happened.  At times, I'm still working to wrap my own mind and heart around the realities of it all.

I won't share much today, but I'm going to at least get the conversation started, so I can share more details with you when the time is right.

Our family had opened up our hearts to the idea of foster care a little over a year ago.  In a crazy turn of events, we were presented with the idea of a private adoption situation in July.  We also then learned that the baby was due in August.  Our lives became a whirlwind.  My hubby prepping for the start of a new school year and for the substitute teacher that would take his place while waiting for the baby to be born.  Our family getting the finishing touches done on our baby nursery and prepping diaper bags and rewashing newborn clothes and packing all kinds of baby stuff.  We packed up our home and lined up dear friends and family and neighbors to mow our lawn and pick the crops from our garden and get our mail and keep and eye on our home and cover our responsibilities at church  and more.  We prepped emotionally, and yet, I've learned that you can never prep enough for the roller coaster of emotions that goes along with adoption and foster care and a newborn and everything connected to it.

I'm still wrapping my mind around what just happened to us, and slowly, life is beginning to feel more normal again.

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We are BEYOND GRATEFUL to each one of you who stepped in to help while we were away...and who BLESSED US BEYOND MEASURE once we arrive HOME.  Delicious meals, baked goods, and homemade oatmeal and soup and applesauce and jelly arrived for weeks.  Boxes of baby boy clothes and cans of formula and packs of diapers showed up time and time again.  Encouraging greeting cards arrived in the mail.  Baby swings were lent to us.  Groceries were dropped off when needed.  Starbucks coffees showed up in the hands of friends who wanted to meet our baby and bless me. Prayers, texts, and phone calls reminded us of your support.  Offers were extended for fun play dates and day trips for our daughter as she, too, adjusted to everything spinning around her.  I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but just know that if YOU were one of the people that blessed us, you touched our hearts and were the hands and feet of Jesus to us when we needed you most.  THANK YOU!!!

I have so much more to share.  But I will save it for another time.  I couldn't think of a better time to express our gratitude than this time of year when Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

This year, I'm reminded of the COMMUNITY we have around us, and the blessing our community is to our family.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

...Waiting...

I haven't posted anything on my blog for well over a month.  Believe me, I've contemplated posting many times.  But today, I want to share a foster care update with you --

It's no major update.

But I want you to know that we're continuing to wait for our placement.  

To date, we became official foster care parents at the end of September.  During the months of October and November, we received four calls within four weeks for four separate placement possibilities.  We declined all four, holding out for the little one (that may or may not even be in utero yet).  This little one is the whole reason we started the process of becoming an approved foster care family, and we feel at-peace about waiting for this specific situation.

Thoughts and questions enter our minds.  Sometimes often.

*How long do we wait?  

*When will we find out if or when this birthmom is due?

*Should we consider other foster care placements before this one?

*Am I capable of doing this?

*What if this doesn't work out?  

*Is it foolish for us to wait?  Should I worry what others will think?

*Will we have to wait nearly two years like we waited for our daughter?

*Do we put things on hold as we wait?  Dreams. Vacations. Hobbies.

For us, it's a balance.  We want to be proactive.  We want to do our part and be responsible.  But we also want to trust.  And part of that trusting involves waiting.  It could be more hours.  More days.  More months.  Even more years.  I don't like waiting.  I want things now.  Yesterday, in fact.  By nature, I like to have things in order.  But the Lord has taught (and continues to teach) me patience, contentment, and trust.  And as I've slowly begun to understand this "learning moment" in my life, God's granted me (us, really) a peace that passes all understanding.

I experienced that same peace when adopting our daughter.  I had never experienced that kind of peace before that time in my life.  But I trust it more now because it was very real then.  And very right.  That same sense of peace now reminds me that God is in control.  That peace reassures me that things are going to be okay; maybe not quite as I planned but as they are meant to be.  That peace also calms my heart and mind in those moments that I doubt or begin to wonder or worry what others might think.  

So as long as my trust is in the Lord, I can rest in knowing that this peace is part of the plan that He has for my life.  "If God is for me, who can be against me?"  I wish I had more of an update to give, but please know that we're doing okay, and I'm thankful that I can know that God's hand is in this whole foster care process for us.  

One day, I will again look back at how the details all aligned for this season of my life and give God all of the glory.  We are your instruments, Lord - use us.  In Your timing.  Your perfect timing.