B.B.'s Grocery Outlet & Lollipops

I was blessed to spend the day with Mya and a dear friend of mine.  We decided to travel down to B.B.'s Grocery Outlet in Quarryville to snag some good bargains.  

Throughout the shopping adventure, Mya was a bit rambunctious...reaching for items on the shelf, needing a piece of gum, grabbing cans and bags of food from inside the cart and playing with them.  Nothing too out-of-the-ordinary for a two year old, but she kept me on my toes while grocery shopping.  

Besides the amazing deals on groceries (and other random household necessities...or non-necessities), I love that their cashiers are so friendly and offer children a lollipop while checking out.  Some parents and babysitters may get annoyed by this, but I like to use this lollipop treat as an incentive for our grocery trip.  When we pull into the B.B.'s parking lot now, Mya says, "Lollipop, Mom?"  And, as always, I reply, "Well, it depends on if you're a good girl today while we are shopping or not."  

Today was like every other trip to B.B.'s...
Tons of bargains.  (Check!)
Traffic jams in each aisle.  (Check!)
Dim lighting (due to the cloudy day...and no electric).  (Check!)

But unlike most trips to the grocery store, Mya was unusually unhappy about being strapped into the shopping cart for an extended period of time.  At one or two points in the adventure, I reminded her that she would not be receiving her lollipop at the checkout if she didn't improve her behavior.  While that reminder helped for a moment, it didn't seem to truly change her attitude.  

We approached the checkout area...lots of carts, lots of people waiting in line...and Mya chose to disobey again.  Nothing horrible, but enough for me to tell her for the final time that she would now not be receiving a lollipop.  She had not earned it.  

We moved through the line, and as I was paying the cashier, like clockwork, the friendly cashier asked if Mya would like a lollipop.  I felt horrible, but I knew in my heart that this was a moment I needed to follow through with my words.  I responded, "No, thank you.  Not today.  She wasn't behaving in the store today and hasn't earned it.  Thanks, though."  The cashier was totally fine with my response, but Mya was devastated.  

She started sobbing.  

My heart sank.  In my mind, I immediately started to rationalize that maybe she really wasn't THAT bad.  Or, maybe I was just overreacting or taking my higher stress level while grocery shopping out on her.  The split-second thought even crossed my mind that I probably could even locate a lollipop SOMEWHERE in our car.

As the cashier handed me my receipt, I turned toward another lady who bagged my groceries to thank her and she said three. simple.. words...

 "Good job, mom."  

I was empowered right that instant.  My empty, saddened heart was restored.  I was affirmed and supported in such a powerful way in that quick, 2-second encounter with this lady...a perfect stranger...who bagged my groceries.  I thanked her and smiled.  I hugged and comforted Mya.  And within seconds, Mya was fine.  

This lady will probably never know just how much her simple words meant to me.  She took a risk...assuming that I was Mya's mommy, and she was right.  She empowered me in that moment, giving me the courage to discipline and not sway from my words.  If I see this lady again, I feel inspired to share with her how much her words...her affirmation...meant to me.  I want to thank her again.

Although it may seem unkind of me to not allow Mya to have that lollipop, in my heart I have to trust and believe that that was the right decision in the right moment.  As parents, it's so hard to find that balance between discipline and grace with our kids.  We are called to, instructed to, entrusted with the responsibility to show them we love them through structure, guidelines, and discipline.  We are also called to love and forgive them...show them grace and care for them selflessly.  What a responsibility...What a gift!