Traffic Jam

I am someone who does not like to run late.  I prefer to be early but am okay with arriving just on-time.  And I especially like to be early to appointments.  Having a little one makes life extra challenging to arrive on-schedule for anything...including appointments.

Last-minute trips to the bathroom.
A spill on the kitchen floor.
A phone call as I'm walking out the door.

You get the idea.

My morning yesterday included a visit to the dentist for a routine check-up.  I had childcare lined up for Mya.  I had extra time in my morning to allow for me to be at the dentist's office with time to spare.  I thought I was good-to-go.  

Until I hit traffic.  And I mean TRAFFIC.  A total traffic jam.  

A Hazmat spill meant a total closure of a main road just outside our development.  Traffic backed up very quickly.  And construction on another main road near our home meant more back-ups...with the then added traffic of those detoured from the road closure.  

I had not planned for that.  I never anticipated that an extra fifteen minutes of travel time would end up meaning I was several minutes LATE to my dentist appointment.  I apologized to my hygienist and my dentist, and they graciously understood.  But I hate that feeling of helplessness.  Of not being responsible.  Of letting someone down.

And a traffic jam...of all things...can definitely make you feel helpless.  There's literally NOTHING you can do sometimes but SIT and WAIT.

Traffic jams can be so stressful, too.  For the drivers.  For the awesome police officers and volunteer fire fighters who direct or redirect traffic.  And especially for those involved directly in the traffic jam itself.  

I pondered this on my way home from the dentist, too, as I got stuck in the traffic jam AGAIN.  There was no way to avoid it completely if I wanted to get home.  And I needed to get home.  And I was fortunate enough to know other roads to take to avoid the traffic as much as I could...but still...waiting is no fun.  

Waiting isn't fun in traffic jams.  It's not fun in life's "traffic jams" either.  

Waiting for an answer.  
Waiting for a clear direction about what to do next in life.  
Waiting for a loved one to return home.  
Waiting to make a decision.
Waiting to get a job, start a family, buy or sell a house.

No matter the situation...waiting stinks!

Those feelings of uncertainty can leave you feeling stuck.  Not wanting to make a decision at all.  We can feel really anxious, too.  

And the reality is that life's gonna have moments that we just can't plan for.  No matter how much we think we have things under control, we just don't.  And never will completely.  And I like to remind myself that the one thing that IS certain in my life is God.  When I don't know what to do.  When I don't know where to turn or who to believe or how to process and make sense of something that literally makes no sense at all...I can turn to God for wisdom and guidance.  For peace and understanding.  For a calmness and reassurance that no matter what, He is always ready, always willing, and always waiting for me to turn to Him.  You'd think by the age of thirty, I'd know to turn to Him right away.  But I often don't.  I often find myself relying on my own abilities, my own knowledge.  And my skills don't even begin to compare to that of God's.  

So as life doesn't go the way I think it should, I can rest in knowing that God's still in control...even in the midst of the craziest "traffic jams" around me.