Monkey Backpack

For Christmas, Mya received an adorable monkey backpack from my dear aunt and uncle.  She instantly loved it.  (And, so did I!)  She no sooner had it unwrapped 'til she had the thing positioned just right on her little shoulders and was trucking all around the room...as proud as a peacock...that she had received her very own "big girl" backpack. 

Mya's new backpack came at just the right time.  

She and I attend a mom's group called, "Connections" at Mellinger Mennonite Church on Tuesday mornings, and after the Christmas holiday, I planned to bump Mya up to the next age group...to the "two year olds" class...during Connections.  I began talking with her about a week before this new change was about to occur...to help ease any anxieties she might have.  We talked about how her new class would have new teachers, how she would get to make lots of new friends, and how she'd now get to enjoy play time, along with a story time AND a snack time!  She was very excited.  But, she was even more excited when I informed her that she could now take her monkey backpack with her to "her school."  She squealed in delight.  In her little heart, I think she instantly felt like a "big girl."  

Isn't it funny how little children want so desperately to be big?!  Grown up.

They want to be independent, do things on their own...and certainly in their own timing.  They express strong wills when anyone...specifically an adult...crosses over their territorial line.  And, they insist on doing most anything by themselves.  As a mom of a two year old, this can be very tiring...and very draining.  But in these moments, I try to remind myself that, as much as it saddens me in some ways that she's growing up so quickly, it's important and quite healthy for Mya to gain independence.  It's still my job to help mold and shape her into a selfless, empathetic, and caring individual...daily.  That alone will take years, if not an entire lifetime.  It's also my job to keep her safe, and at times, discipline her to prevent injury or help her to better understand when to listen, when to obey, when to not question but just do.  To help her to see the world is not centered on her.  The thought of how important my job as a mom is can feel scary and a tad overwhelming at times...and also quite humbling.  It forces me to depend on God, to seek His will for me and for Mya, and to extend grace and forgiveness often.  It requires me to pray and seek forgiveness and wisdom for myself, too.

I have to admit...The first time Mya and I walked down the hallway to her new classroom at Connections, I felt like life was fast-forwarding to the day we'll drop her off at Kindergarten for the first time.  My mommy heart filled with joy and excitement as she hung up her tiny coat and little monkey backpack...as she anticipated school.  And, my mommy heart warmly embraced some extra long hugs that morning as Mya wasn't quite ready to depart from me...to cross over the line to this new milestone, this new classroom.  Mya had a few tears, I wiped them, and she entered the room and didn't look back.  She was ready to go.  I needed to let her fly.  I felt in that moment like I was a mother bird...watching my little baby bird spread her wings and fly for the first time.  

It was scary...and kind of sad.  

But, I needed to let her do it.  I needed to let her go.  

She is not my child...She is God's child.  Nothing will be more rewarding for me, as Mya's mommy, than to watch her grow and mature and follow her heart...seeking the Lord's will for her life.  I have no idea what the future holds, but I do know that the Lord is walking with us each day, equipping us for the next steps in our journeys.  

Today, I will choose to trust the next steps that the Lord has for my life...and for Mya's life, too...monkey backpack and all.