Slow down, Kristen.

Do you ever have the feeling that you need to slow down?  Rest?  Take a break from things? Or, maybe you feel a pull to eliminate items in your schedule to reduce, to remove, to reshift, to refocus?  

This past weekend was a rough one for me (specifically, Sunday)...I did not feel well.  At all.  I'm always amazed that days like these seem to fall, almost strategically, on weekends when Brandon is able to step in and take over caring for Mya and our home.  I'm so thankful in these moments that he's so willing, so eager to keep things running as smoothly as he can...without me.  My personality tends to keep busy, to keep going.  I'm convinced, at times, that it takes an illness for me to stop and breathe and rest.  It's like God is there whispering in my ear, "Slow down, Kristen"...and telling me to keep my focus on Him, reminding me that I cannot do everything on my own.  I just can't.  I'm not supposed to be able to do everything on my own.  I need others.  I need to depend on them.  And, on days that I'm sick, I'm reminded that I need others just to get by with the simplest tasks of life.  

I don't like missing things either.  I don't like not being able to fulfill my end of responsibilities.  I feel like I'm letting people down all around me.  I don't know if it's for selfish reasons that I don't like being sick...but one thing I do know is that I really dislike feeling awful physically and not being able to sleep.  It's a wicked combination.  I'm someone who needs my sleep, so not sleeping and not feeling well causes me to feel downright crappy.  I can easily feel down during these crappy moments.  Naturally, because my body aches and longs to feel healthy again.  But also because life doesn't feel normal when I'm sick.  

I feel helpless.  Exhausted.  Sad.  

In those moments of sickness, my mind is often reminded of my need to be ever-thankful for the many days that I do feel okay.  I try not to take those days for granted.  That I do have the energy to live.  To press on.  I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have good health for the most part.  I'm reminded of the help just waiting around me to step in, to assist...for me to lean and depend on in my moments of sickness.  Such a blessing!  I'm thankful for doctors, for medicine, for 24-hour pharmacies within a fifteen minute's drive from our home.  I'm thankful for the many good days, and it helps me to embrace and stay strong and fight through the not-so-great ones, too.  

Proverbs 3:1-8
My child, never forget the things I have taught you.
Store my commands in your heart.
If you do this, you will live many years,
and your life will be satisfying.
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder. 
Write them deep within your heart.
Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, 
and he will show you which path to take.

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.