Precious Words

Thinking back to our recent visit with Mya's biological family, it's hard to articulate in words the emotions and deep gratitude we have for this opportunity to share Mya's life with them and their lives with Mya and our families.  I could have never imagined an "open adoption" feeling so right.  But it does.  

We don't know still how our open adoption will unfold.  How it will develop.  We don't know if we'll always stay connected.  Or if we'll one day lose touch.  But we do know that we want Mya's best interest to remain at the fore-front of our decision-making process.  

And up to this point, an open adoption is the right choice for our family.

The way we've connected with her maternal biological family is a gift.  In some ways I feel like it's more of a gift to me and Brandon than it is to Mya.  I could never have imagined having so much respect and love for a perfect stranger...the mother of our daughter.  But I do.  I could have never imagined being brave enough to step out in faith and meet up with Mya's biological family each year.  But God's filled me the strength and boldness and love to do this.  I could have never imagined sharing so many connections with a family that I never knew (and am still getting to know) before November 2010.  But its an invaluable gift.  

Sometimes I wonder how I could be so blessed to have an adoptive daughter.  Why God chose me for this responsibility.  If you would have asked me ten-years ago if I would adopt, I'm guessing I would have declined the possibility.  Not out of opposition but out of a naive-ness to the beauty of it and how it could so richly bless my life.  

And just when I've felt like God couldn't bless us more through our adoption journey, He does.  He allows us the opportunity...a totally unexpected opportunity...to meet Mya's birthfather for the very first time.  (See my previous post to read more.  Click here to read that post.)

You might wonder what a biological father would say to their child's adoptive father.  It's a situation that we could have never planned for.  In fact, I think the "unexpected" aspect to his visit with us on Saturday was a blessing in disguise.  You see, if I would have know...ahead of time...that he was coming, the human side of me would have been worried.  I would have played out the events of the pending visit over and over in my head.  It might have even made me anxious and sick-to-my-stomach with wonder and anticipation.  

But because Mya's biological father "just showed up"...we rolled with the punches.  We greeted him.  We introduced ourselves.  We smiled and even laughed with him.  And Brandon embraced his offer to chat privately...while the rest of us attempted to eat.  

Their conversation went well.  His words so thoughtful.  His nervousness obvious.  His sincerity genuine.  His courage admirable.  And the one part of their conversation that I've clung to since Brandon shared it with me....

Mya's birthfather - "Mya was not an accident.  She's here for a reason.  You are her dad; Kristen is her mom.  There's no question about that.  And if Mya ever wants to know me, please let her know that she can contact me."  

Wow.  As I type this, I can become emotional again.  What a gift he's given to the daughter he doesn't even know.  And by his openness and vulnerability, Brandon was able to immediately share with him that we're okay with Mya knowing him now.  

We don't know if he'll choose to stay in touch.  We don't know if or when we'll talk with him again; we've given him the right to make that choice when he's ready.  But at least I know in my adoptive mom heart that he's okay with us raising his daughter.  That he's, in a way, given us his blessing.  

There's so much more to that ten-minute conversation that is precious to our family and close friends.  And as the story continues to unfold, we'll continue to share with wisdom, discernment, and respect to Mya and her story.  Thank you for joining us in this journey.